


Thanks To The Trench Coat

by CMBowles



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive Balthazar, Abusive Relationships, Accountant Castiel, Alternate Universe - Human, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, In later chapters - Freeform, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Mechanic Dean, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Non-Graphic Violence, Not a Love Story, Panic Attacks, Protective Dean Winchester, slowest of slow burns, will post warnings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-11
Updated: 2016-02-11
Packaged: 2018-05-19 17:50:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 43,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5975884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CMBowles/pseuds/CMBowles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester, a simple mechanic, finds a trench coat abandoned in the lobby of his auto-shop. When he finds the owner and returns the coat to one Castiel Novak, CPA, he is fascinated by the man he only got to talk to for a few minutes. He runs into him a few more times before he realizes something is just a little off about the man. And Dean has a sinking suspicion it has something to do with Castiel's boyfriend, Balthazar. Can he help Cas without his own feelings getting in the way?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all, just a word. In later chapters there is going to be references to child abuse, physical and sexual abuse from a partner, and panic attacks. Of all of this I think the panic attacks are the most graphic. I will post warning at the beginning of the chapters without trying to spoil the story. But if you have issue with reading these things, please don't read; I don't want my work hurting or offending anyone. Be careful, know your limits. Enjoy!

Dean sank into the small metal folding chair in the corner of the open space behind the counter. It wasn’t the most comfortable seat in the room, although it didn’t loose the fight by much, but it gave him a lot more support than the short, cushioned, stool that Charlie sat on directly in front of the counter. At least in the folding chair he didn’t have to rely on himself to keep him upright. It was also low enough that it kept him mostly hidden from customers in the lobby. If anyone else walked into the shop through the glass doors, Charlie could tell them her ‘sorry, not taking any more customers today’ speech and send them on their way before they could get close enough to see the grease covered mechanic clearly sitting there doing nothing. Of course he was doing nothing, because he had finally cleared the last car out of the bays and he was finally taking a damn break.

“Did some state-wide message go out telling every car owner to change their oil today or some shit?” Dean rubbed a grease stained hand over the back of his neck, no longer caring about any mess.

“Not that I know of, boss.” Charlie chuckled, spinning around on her stool to get a better look at the man.

“Closing time.” Dean swirled his finger in the air. “I just sent the boys home. Go ahead and get out of here and flip the goddamn sign on your way out.” He closed his eyes and let his head fall back to hit the corner groove in the walls.

“Just don’t fall asleep sitting there, it’ll suck in all kinds of ways in the morning.” Charlie warned as she stood and gathered her things.

“See you tomorrow.” Dean waved a hand as he reluctantly pulled his head back up to watch her go. With a much-too-cheery bounce in her step, Charlie got to the door, turned the sign on it’s linked chain, and stepped out into the night. She hesitated on the sidewalk, fiddling with her ipod, until she cued the music and lifted her bulky earphones over her head. With a smirk Dean watched her step away from the building in the fading light, head already bobbing to the beat of her music. Of course Charlie was giddy, she only had to sit at the desk and push paper all day. Unlike the guys who had been digging around in and rolling under far too many cars each over the hours as they worked on the overflow of vehicles that had come into Singer and Sons that day.

Reluctantly Dean pulled himself out of the chair and made his way around the desk to lock the front door and turn off the lights. As he turned back around his eye caught on a piece of fabric among the chairs and he made his way over. It was a coat, crumpled on the floor, discarded between a chair and a small end table holding out of date car magazines. Dean reached for it but stopped at the last moment before touching it, seeing his hands. Quickly he jerked down the zipper of his coveralls and pulled the top half off his shoulders, letting the sleeves fall limply at his legs as he reached to pull out his mostly cleaner white undershirt to make one last effort at wiping off his hands. Mostly satisfied with their slightly cleaner appearance, Dean reached down for the beige material once more and pulled the coat from the ground, moving it around in his hands until he had it by the folded collar. He frowned at it, not remembering ever seeing any of his usual customers sporting a long, tan trench coat. 

With a small shrug of his shoulders he carried it with him back behind the counter, draping it from a peg on the coat rack Charlie had insisted on for her because she refused to use the lockers in the back with the guys and risk her jackets smelling like motor oil and car exhaust. He had caved quickly on that request. Much quicker than he had when she had begged for a Keurig coffee maker and a variety of pods for the customers. With the coat safely out of the way, Dean continued on until he reached his small, cluttered office. Pouring himself a cup of the black sludge left in his personal coffee pot, he reached over and turned on the radio on the corner of his desk and took a sip of the hot liquid. With a wince he turned up the music, sat in his desk chair, and began to slowly make his way through the mountain of paperwork that had gathered throughout the day.

An hour later, Dean rubbed his aching eyes and finished zipping up the bank deposit bag to shove into the small safe in his office. He should have asked Charlie to stay late enough to close out the register for him, but he had just wanted the day to be done. Shuffling around his office, he tugged his leather jacket around his shoulders and went back into the lobby long enough to slide the drawer back in place, his eyes lingering on the sight of the warn coat hanging lonely from its hook. Through to the garage where he pulled his coveralls the rest of the way off and threw them in the laundry bin. Glancing around the empty bays out of habit, he walked to the back door of the garage and let himself out. Another day, another dollar. He gave an exhausted sigh and slid into his car. The Impala roared to life and he took comfort in the beautiful machine as he pulled out of the parking lot and headed home to his empty apartment.

 

The next day was thankfully so much slower. As he had arrived at the shop he smiled widely and shot a look at Charlie.

“You bring these?” He pointed at the open white box of donuts sitting next to the fancy coffee maker.

“Sure did, but leave them alone.” She jerked a thumb over her shoulder with a smirk as Dean let out a grumble. “There is a box of them in your office just for you and the boys. Go enjoy.” Dean’s smile returned and he made his way around the counter, leaning in to give her a sloppy kiss on the cheek.

“You are the best.”

“I know.” Charlie feigned disgust as she wiped her cheek. “I even started your boring coffee in your crap maker!” She called over her shoulder just as he stepped into the office and was hit with the aroma of fresh brew. Dropping his messenger bag next to his desk he quickly poured a cup and grabbed up a white powdered donut before stepping back through the doorway. Taking a bite of the donut he let out a groan.

“You are a queen amongst peasants.” Dean said through a mouthful of food. Charlie grimaced but let out a laugh anyway. “Hey.” He took a sip of the coffee to clear his throat and pointed at the coat still hanging from the rack. “You recognize that?”

Charlie stared at it for a minute before frowning and shaking her head. “Doesn’t look familiar.”

“Someone left it over near the table, on the floor between it and the chairs. Not one of our regulars I’m betting.”

“No.” She bit her lip. “Over there?” She pointed and Dean nodded, his mouth once more full of donut. “Well, there were two guys that left in kinda a hurry at one point. Like one of them practically dragging the other out. But I don’t remember if one of them had a coat like that.” She shook her head again and shrugged. “Sorry. It was just so busy in here yesterday.”

“You’re telling me.” Dean snorted before shoving the last of the donut into his mouth. He held up his cup in salute and turned to go back to his office.

“Hey.” Charlie stopped him and he turned to her with raised eyebrows as he tried to chew around his full mouth. “You got a little something.” She pursed her lips and motioned around her whole mouth with an index finger. “Just, everywhere.” He rolled his eyes and lifted a hand to run over his mouth as she let out a laugh. Waving her back to her work, Dean went back into his office. 

“Did you dig through the pockets?” Charlie asked fifteen minutes later when he reemerged with a fresh cup of coffee and idea of the few cars they had scheduled to come in.

“What?” He frowned and paused at the door to the garage.

“The pockets of the coat? Did you check them to see if there was some way to find out who it belongs to?” She pointed at the tan fabric.

“No.” He said, taken aback. What if he had lost his jacket and someone went through his pockets? Finding the pocket knife, loose change, gum, gum wrappers, the unused condom. They would stare in wonder at the two business cards from the inside pocket and wonder if they should try the garage or the FBI first, since his buddy Victor’s card was safely tucked away with his own. 

“Well, it may help.” Charlie made to stand up.

“No. Hey, no.” He reached out a hand and she stopped and turned around. “Leave it for today. See if anyone comes in here to claim it. No one does, and I’ll check when we close.”

“What? A guy’s jacket is like a chick’s purse?” Charlie smirked and crossed her arms over her chest.

“Something like that.” He nodded and she let out a disbelieving laugh. “Anyway, leave it for now.” Taking a sip of his coffee he opened the door into the garage and let it slam closed behind him. “Ok boys, we got five scheduled repairs for the day.” He called out, his voice filling the space and getting the attention of the men talking near the middle of the room and a metal toolbox.

“With any luck, five is it.” Adam grumbled as they made their way over.

“Hey, cars pay the bills, buddy. Don’t bitch about a busy day when it keeps the lights on.” Benny pointed out in his gruff tone.

“Busy days like yesterday let me bump you to full time.” Dean added looking at the youngest on his crew with a pointed expression. “Keep that in mind.” Adam looked down at his feet as they shuffled closer to his boss.

“Yeah, sorry.” He shoved his hands in the pockets of his coveralls, his shoulders hunkering in close to his ears. Dean stared at the kid and was reminded of a younger Sam. It must have been something the two had gotten from their father, a trait that had skipped Dean and managed to get passed down to two kids from different mothers. He reached out and clapped his half-brother on the shoulder.

“Anyway.” He held up the clipboard and gave the others their jobs for the day, noticing the way Adam relaxed at only getting one car that would keep him occupied for a good part of the day. 

The kid was good with cars, he had to be before Dean had given in and hired him, but he didn’t like to be rushed, didn’t like to push from car to car quickly. Dean wondered if he got his desire for perfection and slower pace from his mother and not for the first time he found himself wishing he had been able to meet the woman. Instead a nineteen year old Adam had shown up on his doorstep looking for Dean and Sam’s father because he hadn’t been visiting lately and his mother, Kate, had recently passed from cancer. It had killed Dean to tell the kid John had been dead for nearly three years, a car crash one late, and undoubtedly drunken, night. Adam had nodded sullenly and made to leave. It had taken all of three seconds for Dean to stop him and asked him to come in for coffee. He had never left. At twenty-two the kid was shaping up to be a fine mechanic taking business courses at night at the local community college so that he could one day help Dean run the garage. Dean hadn’t known the kid existed, was still kinda glad he hadn’t known about Kate, but he was glad he was here now.

“Garth, take this one!” Dean called across the garage an hour later. He was elbow-deep in a Chevy Cavalier and there was a car waiting outside one of the empty bays. The scrawny mechanic lifted a hand in acknowledgment and made his way to the door to the lobby. Dean looked up from his own work long enough to watch the interaction through the glass wall. He couldn’t stop himself each time a new walk-in customer entered, and he found himself watching to see if any of them claimed the trench coat. Half of him expected that if someone did show up for it he would stop what he was doing to step into the lobby and say hi. He had no clue why, he had nothing to say to anyone that left their creeper jacket tossed in the corner of an auto-shop, but something had him constantly looking up. It was probably just curiosity.

Curiosity that kept him looking up at each newcomer until he called it a day at eight. He had sent the others home one by one the closer they got to closing, Benny being the last to leave the hour before. Dean had waved him off, insisting that no one showed up for anything but to pick up their cars that late in the day anyway, he and Charlie could handle it. When the last customer, a single mom working at the diner down the street, had come dashing through the door at fifteen till, Dean and Charlie had been sitting behind the counter chatting. They smiled, asked about her son, gave her the keys to her old sedan, and waved her off. Ten minutes till closing.

“Well, I don’t think the owner is going to show.” Charlie jumped from her chair and reached for the coat.

“He still has nine minutes, Charlie, calm down.” Dean shook his head with a laugh. “Close out the drawer and you can go home.” Standing he grabbed up the jacket. Charlie let out an indignant squeak. “Calm down, I’m just moving it so you don’t go rifling through it.” He smirked and went into his office, draping the material over the back of his chair, careful to sit on the edge of the seat so he wouldn’t get the jacket dirty. Eight minutes later Charlie walked quickly into the office, money in one hand.

“Here. Done.” She dropped it down on the edge of the desk, the white slip of paper with her rushed handwriting on top. “Gimme.” She held out a grabby hand like a toddler.

“Jeeze, why are you so eager about a damn coat?” He raised wide eyes to her.

“I am ruled by curiosity. Why are you so resistant?” Her hands fisted and landed on her hips.

“I don’t like the thought of rifling through some guy's personal space.” He looked down at the money from the drawer. “You sure these numbers are right.” He laughed lightly at the indignant look she gave him.

“Of course they are right. I work better under pressure.”

“Impatience isn’t pressure.” He finally turned slightly in his chair, heaving a sigh as he lifted the jacket up and off. Charlie let out an excited noise and reached for it before he had his arm fully extended, and she was reaching for pockets before his hand could fall to the desk. “Christ, it’s a coat.”

“It’s a mystery.” She waggled her eyebrows.

“It’s a coat.” Dean shook his head and turned back to the paperwork in front of him, he didn’t work as fast as she did. He tried to keep his gaze on the inventory he was supposed to be working on, but his eyes kept lifting to see if she had found anything.

“Ah-ha!” She called out, her hand raised with a small metal object.

“What is it?” Dean frowned up at the object. Charlie draped the coat over one arm as she opened the object and pulled out a card.

“A card case. For business cards.” She shot him a look. “You should think of carrying one so you have more than the one, wrinkled, sad card on you at a time.”

“Shut it. What does it say?” He jerked his chin at the card as she turned her attention back to it.

“Cas-Teel?” She shrugged. “Novak. C-P-A. Collins and associates. And there is a phone number and email address.” She shook the card.

“CPA?” Dean thought for only a second. “Accountant.” He snapped his fingers on the word.

“Yes, Dean.” She was already reaching into her pocket for her phone. “I’ll call and ask where to drop it off. It’s been getting a little chilly, he is going to be wanting it soon.” She was already pulling the phone to her ear, wondering out of the office before Dean could say anything.

With a huff he got back to his paperwork, figuring she would come back when the call was done and she had information on the mysterious trench coat wearer. He was half done when she came back into the office with a smirk, dropping the coat on his desk unceremoniously.

“Seriously, some of us don’t clock out at exactly eight.” Dean huffed and picked the jacket back up, folding it slowly. “Why you giving it back anyway? I thought you would be jumping at the chance to meet this guy.”

“He’s not my type. You know, being a guy and all.” She shrugged and leaned forward.

“Charlie.” He growled and he knew exactly where this was going. From the moment he had confessed to being bi a few months back, he had regretted it.

“So, he lives way out of my way anyway.” She smirked and dropped the business card with an address on the back of it. “Buuuut..” She drew out the word. “He just so happens to live between here and your apartment. What are the chances of that? It’s like Fate!”

“It’s not Fate. It’s you nosing around in my business. And there is no way you can tell through a short phone conversation that he is interested in men.”

“True. Even my powers are not that strong. But!” She held up a finger and straightened. “If he is half as delicious looking as his voice sounds, he will be great spank bank material. Why waste it on me?” She laughed and made for the door. “See you tomorrow, boss! He’s expecting the coat in a half hour!” She stepped out of the door, leaning only her head back in for a moment. “It’s Cas-ti-el, by the way.” With a final wave she disappeared around the door into the lobby.

“Charlie!” He yelled but only got her laughter as a response before the lights shut off outside his office and he heard the jingle of the bell above the door. “Son of a bitch!” Looking down he realized he still held the folded trench coat in his hands. With a low groan he unfolded the coat and draped it back over the back of his chair so that he could get the work down in time to take the coat back to the guy.

When he pulled up to the small house thirty-five minutes later, he parked at the curb, right in front of the mailbox. Grabbing up the coat by the collar once more, he climbed out of his car and made his way up to the door. His eyes wondered as he walked, no sign of toys in the front yard so probably no kids, grass just shy of dead but then it was creeping up into fall, and no car in the driveway, which is what Dean was frowning at when the front door jerked open. Dean turned and came face to face with dark, messy hair above bright blue eyes above a similar frown.

“Can I help you?” Charlie had been right, the guy’s voice was sexy. His eyes moved down to Dean’s hands just as the mechanic was opening his mouth to speak. “That’s my coat.” He pointed at it as if shocked.

“Yeah. You, um, left it at my shop.”

“Right.” He looked back up to Dean’s face. “Sorry, I was under the impression the girl I talked to on the phone would be the one bringing it to me.” His eyes darted over Dean’s shoulders and down the street, searching for something. Dean took the brief moment to see that the guy in front of him was incredibly handsome, especially standing there in slacks, a white button down shirt, and a blue tie pulled loose but still knotted around his neck.

“Yeah, sorry. Once you gave her the address she realized it would be easier if I bring it by.” Dean cleared his throat.

“I tried telling her I could have come to get it sometime this week now that I knew where it was.”

“Nah, man, it was on my way. Anyway, with the weather getting cold we figured you might want it back sooner rather than later.” Dean pursed his lips. He watch the man’s eyes flick down the street again. “I’m sorry, are you expecting someone? Is this a bad time? Charlie made it seem like you were ok with me bringing it by.”

“No. No. It’s fine. My boyfriend is just on his way home.” He shook his head and dropped his eyes to his feet. “Umm, I wish I had something to give you as a reward for bringing it back.”

“Hey man.” Dean reached out a hand to stop his train of thought and the guy jerked back just slightly. “Don’t. Don’t worry about that. You just left it at the shop, no big deal. And it’s just a coat.” Deans shrugged and the guy made eye contact for only the second time.

“But it means a great deal to me.” His words were soft but his gaze intense.

“Well, then I am really glad I brought it back sooner rather than waiting for you to find time to pick it up later.” Dean grinned. “And in the future, when you bring your car to the shop, remember to take it with you.”

“Oh, I don’t usually …” He shook his head. “I don’t usually do that sort of thing, my boyfriend does. And he uses some other place.”

“Ah, wow, way to cut a guy deep.” Dean fisted his hand in the shirt over his heart and groaned. At the guy’s wide eyes he let out a chuckle and moved the hand to get the cards out of his inside jacket pocket. “But.” He looked down and found the right one, shoving the other back in it’s place. “Just in case you have the car again, here’s my card. Call me first and we will get you in and out quick. He doesn’t even have to know you brought it to us instead.” He winked as the guy hesitantly took the card from him.

Once more his eyes jerked over Dean’s shoulder and suddenly he was shoving the card into his back pocket and reaching out for the coat. “C-Can I get my coat back now?” His voice shook slightly just as Dean saw headlights in the corner of his eye as a car pulled into the drive way.

“Yeah. Sorry. Been talking your ear off.” Dean held out the jacket and the other man pulled it quickly from his grasp. “Have a nice evening with your boyfriend.” He took a step back, keeping his eyes on Castiel as the man hugged the jacket to his torso. “I’ll see you around, Castiel.” Raising his hand in a small wave he turned around, just as the boyfriend slammed the car door shut. Dean gave him a slight wave as well before tucking his hands into the pockets of his own leather jacket and walking briskly back to the Impala. 

As he climbed back into the driver’s seat and shut his door he looked up to the house. Castiel and his boyfriend looked to be the same height, but the way the other man got in close to speak and Castiel bowed his head as he listened, the boyfriend seemed to tower over Castiel. The other man turned back to look at Dean, still just sitting in his car, before putting his hand on Castiel’s bicep and leading him back into the house. With a frown Dean watched as the man firmly closed the door behind them before he finally turned the key in the ignition and got the car started. With a slight shake of his head, Dean checked the street and pulled away.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean was ready for the questions when he began walking into the shop the next morning, his scowl was already in place.

“So? Was a he dreamy? Did Fate have a hand in helping you find your soul mate?”

“You read too many romance novels.”   
“I’ll have you know I don’t read romance novels at all.” Charlie turned on her stool as her eyes followed her boss through the lobby, around the counter, and to the door of his office. “I’m more of a manuels and high fantasy kind of gal.” She shrugged. “Was he cute? Is he gay?”

“He has a boyfriend.” Dean pointed out as he crossed into his office, noticing that once more Charlie had started his coffee maker, probably to coax answers from him.

“Yes! Gay!” She jumped up from her stool.

“Did you not just hear me? He is already taken.” He glanced over his shoulder as he poured his coffee, keeping track of her.

“So? Boyfriends come and go.” She waved a dismissive hand as she fell into a metal folding chair in front of his desk.

“Nope. Guys are living together. That’s pretty serious.” Dean shook his head and took a sip of his coffee. Holding it up in a salute to her, he walked around his desk. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” Charlie shrugged and stood. Just before she reached the door she turned around. “But is he at least cute?”

Dean let out a small laugh and nodded his head. “Yeah, he’s pretty cute.” Charlie’s laugh filled the two rooms she stood between.

“Well, at least there’s that.”

“Sure.” There was a jingle in the front room. “Hey, go do your job.” With a bright smile, Charlie went to greet the customer, leaving Dean to finish his first cup of coffee in silence.

 

Three days later the phone in his office rang as he was just about to start work on an old Buick LeSabre that kinda surprised him simply by running. 

“Dean!” Charlie’s voice filled the garage office, so out of place with the noise of the cars, the rock music playing on the stereo in the back corner, and the men gruffly talking as they worked that it couldn’t be missed.

“Yeah?” He turned from where he stood just on the other side of the car from her in the first bay.

“There’s a call for you on line one. It’s your office phone.” As he got closer to her, wiping his hands on a rag, she lowered her voice and waggled her eyebrows. “It’s Castiel.”

“What?” He frowned in confusion and turned to call back into the garage. “Benny, take over my car for me!”

“Got it, boss.” Benny didn’t move, watching as Dean followed Charlie into the lobby and up until they had disappeared from sight before he finally turned to the new car. “Wonder what that’s about.” The Cajun mumbled under his breath as he popped the hood of the old car.

“I recognized his voice as soon as he said hello. No way can anyone else talk that low and shyly. But he didn’t say anything, just asked for you.” Charlie shrugged and sat on her stool as Dean passed her and made his way into his office.

“Stay off the line.” He pointed a finger at her just before he shut the door. Dean sat on the edge of his desk and leaned across it to reach his phone. “Winchester.”

“Yes. Hello. This is Castiel Novak, the man you returned the trench coat to.”

“Yeah, man, I remember you.” Dean chuckled. “Did you need something?”

“Actually yes.” There was a moment of hesitation. “I have a flat tire.” 

“And you don’t know how to change it?” Dean frowned.

“No! Of course I know how to change a flat tire, Mr. Winchester.” Castiel sounded affronted and Dean couldn’t help but laugh.

“Good. So you need…” There was an unmistakable deep sigh on the other end of the phone.

“I have no spare.”

“No spare.” Dean pursed his lips. “Yeah that would be a problem.”

“I know it’s stupid of me, but I had not realized Balthazar had used the spare, as I rarely use the car. And now I am trapped on the side of the road with a flat tire.” His voice was starting to rise.

“Ok, calm down, Cas, I got ya’. I’ll bring the truck out and we can get you fixed up in just a few. Tell me where you’re at.” Dean searched around the desk for something to write on when his office door flew open and Charlie rushed in with a pad of sticky notes. Dean glared at her and jerked the notes and pen out of her hand. He pointed at the door and mouthed the word ‘out’ just as Castiel began to talk. Quickly he jotted down the location. “Ok, buddy, give me all of ten minutes and I’ll be there.

“Thank you very much, Mr. Winchester.”

“God, please, call me Dean.”

“A-Alright.”

“I’ll be there in a bit, then.” He hung up the phone and jumped off his desk, grabbing his jacket off the back of his chair.

“You really need to start pretending like you listen to me.” Dean grumbled as he handed Charlie his jacket long enough to unzip and pull his coveralls from his shoulders.

“I was listening to you.” Charlie smirked and there was a very distinctive twinkle in her eye.

“You know what I mean.” He tied the arms around his waist as he glared at her. “Hold down the fort.” Taking his jacket back, he pulled it on and snatched the keys to the tow truck off their peg behind the desk. Charlie gave a salute as he stepped out of the building.

“Thank you so much for coming.” Castiel said as he climbed out of his car to meet Dean between the two vehicles. He had broken down on a back road just outside of town and he looked very out of place standing on the black top, surrounded by open land, in his suit. 

“It’s really not a problem, Cas. It’s my job.” Dean’s smile wavered slightly at the confused frown that now creased Castiel’s brow. He realized then what he had called the man. “Oh, sorry. Jeeze. I didn’t mean to mangle your name. Just on the phone I was talking fast and it slipped out and it’s easier.” He watched as the other man’s expression changed and he was suddenly biting back a small smile. “But I guess it’s ok.”

“Yes, Mr.- Dean.” He gave a small nod, his gaze on the ground but Dean was sure his smile was growing a little. “It’s just.” Castiel took a deep breath, shook his head, and looked up, a very determined set of movements. “It’s just that I haven’t been called that in a while.”

“Boyfriend prefer honey or sweetie?” Dean tried to joke but the flash of something less than joy in Castiel’s eyes drew him up short.

“No.” He said simply before turning back to his car. “Anyway, it’s the front passenger tire. I believe I ran over something, but I can’t be sure.”

“Ok, yeah. Well, I’ll get you hooked up to the tow truck and we can look at it at the garage. Good?”

“Yes.” Castiel gave a nod and looked down at his phone. “Do you have an estimate of how long it will take? And…” Another deep, steadying breath, “how much this will cost?”

“About an hour on the time, gotta get back to the shop and all. But the cost.” Dean shook his head. “Sorry, we’ll have to get there, see how bad the tire is, if we need to replace it completely or just patch it up. And then we’ll have to get you a spare.”

“I don’t need a spare.” Castiel shook his head.

“C’mon man, you can’t be driving around without a spare.”

“I don’t think I can afford it.” Castiel’s voice was low and he was no longer looking at Dean, but staring very intently at his phone as he turned it in his hands.

“Ok, well let’s get you to the shop.” Dean made for the back of the tow truck.

“I am going to call my employer and let them know I am running a little behind schedule.”

“Yeah, no problem.” Dean waved him off and set about getting the car hooked up to the tow truck. Castiel walked away as he dialed. Occasionally Dean would look up to see the man pacing along the deserted road and Dean had to be thankful that Castiel had broken down on such an unused road. While he was letting the wench lift the car, his eyes tracked the other man’s movements. Castiel paced back and forth, running an occasional hand through his already windblown dark hair, and as he finally lowered the phone he loosened his tie, pulling the knot down enough to undo the top two buttons on his dress shirt. “We are good to go.” Dean finally called over to him and Castiel’s gaze jerked up from his phone. “You can ride in the truck with me.” He waved a hand at the vehicle.

“Thank you.” Castiel gave a nod and walked quickly to the passenger side of the truck and pulled himself into his seat.

“So. You called me over the other guy.” Dean tried to make conversation, a little put off at the way Castiel seemed to be trying to sink into the door panel.

“What? Oh. Yes.” Castiel’s eyes moved from looking out the side window to the front one, but didn’t make it to Dean. “They said it would take anywhere from a half hour to a full hour to just come get me. I really don’t have the time to wait that long.” He shook his head and looked down at the phone in his lap. “You were much closer. I took a chance.”

“I’ll take second choice.” Dean chuckled. “Glad I gave you my card then.” 

“Yes. Thank you.” Castiel turned to look out the window once more as they came to a stop at a light and Dean let his eyes take in the guy sitting next to him. He in no way looked relaxed, even with his tie and shirt open as they were. Instead his back was ramrod straight but his shoulders hunched slightly like he was trying to curl in on himself with good posture. The position made his trench coat look too big for him, like he was a child dressing up in his dad’s clothing. And the way he was sitting at the edge of his seat next to the door was staring to make Dean uncomfortable.

“So.” Dean pursed his lips and put his foot on the gas pedal once the light turned green. “You’re an accountant.” His words sounded stilted in his own ears, but the silence was killing him and the radio in the tow truck had given out three months ago.

“Yes, I am.” 

“How does that work? I mean you work for a firm right, they have companies as clients and you work for them, right? Like a law firm does? Or do you do work with people one on one?”

“My firm handles several corporate accounts.” Castiel gave a tight nod. Slowly he took a breath and his eyes began to move to Dean. He hesitated and bit his bottom lip as if he was about to tell the mechanic a secret. “I also work with the public on the side, when I can.” His voice grew hushed and Dean found himself leaning a little into the middle to hear better as he drove. “That’s why I was out there in the more rural area when my tire went flat. I had been helping someone set up their tax paperwork for their farmhands.”

“In September?” 

“Mrs. Carrigan asks me to come by every time she hires a new worker, to help set up their payroll.” A small smile lit up Castiels face. “I think really she just likes having an excuse to make an extra pie and talk to someone who doesn’t know a thing about horses and farming.” Dean gave a low chuckle.

“Yeah, I have a few older clients that bring their cars in for the simplest of things just so they can chat with someone for an hour or so.” Dean pulled into the parking lot of the auto-shop. “So she makes you pie?”

“Yes. Even though I have asked her not to.” Castiel shook his head.

“Why? Free pie, man.” Dean maneuvered the truck easily, out of habit, until he could back Castiel’s car into a an open bay.

“I don’t eat it enough to warrant her making me a whole pie.” Castiel’s voice was getting softer again. “I wish she wouldn’t go through the trouble when it gets wasted.” Dean shot the other man a look at such a sad tone of voice.

“Hey, buddy, if you ever need help eating pie, bring it in here. I love pie. And I’m sure my boys would love the treat.” Dean threw the car in park. “Doesn’t have to go to waste.” He shrugged and hopped out of the car. “Hey Benny!”

“Yeah?” The burly man was already headed in his direction.

“Get her unhooked and re-park the truck. I’ll take this one.” Dean tossed the keys to Benny and rounded the truck. “I’ll be back to start in just a minute.” He stopped as he waited for Castiel to climb out of the truck and shut the door. “Come on.” Waving a hand he led Castiel to the lobby.

“Hello, Mr. Novak!” Charlie jumped off of her stool to lean over the counter with an outstretched hand. “I’m the one you keep talking to on the phone.”

Dean didn’t miss the way Castiel flinched as the red head shot her hand out to him, but he thought Charlie might have in her exuberance.

“Easy there Bradbury, don’t scare the costumers.” Dean carefully moved around Castiel. Charlie’s smile faltered and her hand began to sink when Castiel finally reached out and shook it.

“It’s nice to finally be able to put a face to the voice.”

“Same here.” Charlie’s smile returned and she sat back down on her stool.

“Well, Cas. There’s coffee over there if you want some and you can just chill in here. I’ll get you fixed up as fast as I can so you can get back to work.” Dean shrugged off his coat and tossed it at Charlie.

“Oh, Sam came and picked Adam up for lunch.” Charlie said after she stuck her tongue out at Dean. “He said you were supposed to join him and now he is mad at you.” She smiled sweetly.

“Shit. I forgot that was today. He’ll get over it, I was doing my job.” Dean wiggled back into the top half of his coveralls. 

“To which he said you work too much.”

“Did I cause you to break an engagement?” Castiel said with wide eyes and Dean was sure that was a little fear in his eyes.

“Nah, man, just lunch with my brothers. We go every week, I can miss once.” He shook his head and zipped up. “Anyway. Relax. Sit. I’ll do my thing. And you’ll be back on the road soon.” He made his way back to the door to the garage. “And hey, don’t let her talk your ear off.” He pointed at Charlie as his eyes fell on Castiel. “Feel free to tell her to be quiet at any point.” He smirked at Charlie’s indignant shout as he stepped out of the lobby.

Dean would never admit that while he was in the garage working on Castiel’s car, he kept one eye on the lobby worried that Charlie would drive shy Castiel crazy. Nor would he admit that the one time he looked up and caught sight of Castiel’s face lit up with laughter he was distracted enough that he smashed his thumb with the impact gun. The sounds of Benny’s laughter filled the garage and covered up Dean’s light curses. Dean flipped off his coworker and got back to changing the tire.

“Ok, you are good to go.” Dean said as he entered the shop and came to a stop in front of the desk and Charlie. He handed her the paperwork and turned to face Castiel who had been sitting quietly in one of the chairs.

“Thanks so much for this, Dean.” Castiel stood, gathering up his coat, and walked to them.

“Hey, Dean.” Charlie frowned when she looked up at him. Placing her index finger on the papers she pushed them closer to Dean so he could see what she was asking about.

“Exactly as it says Bradbury.”

“Ok.” She shrugged.

“Is there a problem?” Castiel’s eyes darted between them.

“Not at all.” Dean smiled. Castiel blushed and looked down at the paperwork Charlie was finishing with and Dean decided to clean his hands on his rag yet again.

“Dean, I asked that you forgo the spare.” Castiel’s brow furrowed as he read the papers upside down.

“It’s on the house.”

“So is the work apparently.” Charlie mumbled under her breath.

“Dean.” Castiel jerked his gaze to the mechanic. “You can’t do that.”

“I own the shop, so I kinda can, Cas. And you have to have a spare. Stop arguing and pay the lady.” Dean jerked a thumb at Charlie who now wore a smirk.

“I-” Castiel bit his bottom lip and nodded. Quickly he paid Charlie with a credit card. “Hold on just one second.” He held up a finger to Dean before running out the door without his receipt. 

“Someone has a crush on the hot accountant.” Charlie folded her arms on the counter and leaned into them. Dean was thankful at least that she kept her voice low as there were other customers waiting on their cars.

“I do not. He was going to drive without a spare because of the cost. I want to make sure he is safe out there. Everyone needs a spare, Charlie.”

“Sure, sure.” She nodded but he caught the grin she tried to hide as the bell above the door jingled. He looked back up to see Castiel walking in with a white box in his hand which he sat on the counter.

“Please, take this at least.” He opened it to reveal a cherry pie.

“Cas I can’t take the pie.” Dean protested weakly. Charlie smacked him on the arm and pulled the box a little closer to her.

“Yes we can.”

Castiel let out a small chuckle and Dean’s attention was pulled completely from the pie. “I told you, I won’t eat it all. At least this way it goes to a good cause.”

“Yeah, us.” Benny said from behind Dean causing both him and Castiel to startle.

“I need a damn bell for that door, too.” Dean grumbled.

“Please, have a slice.” Castiel held out a hand to indicate the pie. Dean’s eyes were drawn to the open ‘V’ of Castiel’s shirt opening just a little bit more at the movement. The effect of tan skin was broken as the edges of a rather large bruise came into view. Dean couldn’t stop the sympathetic wince. “What? Is something wrong?” Castiel asked, his eyes growing wide and a little scared.

“Oh no.” Dean shook his head. “Just.” He motioned to his own collarbone before pointing at the bruise of Castiel’s. “That looks like it hurt.” 

The confusion on the other man’s face lasted for only a second as he started to look down. Then it seemed to click, he remembered the bruise, maybe the incident that caused it, and he was jerking his shirt back up to cover the bruise and his skin.

“Oh.” His voice was barely above a whisper as he hurried to button his dress shirt back up. “Yeah, it wasn’t that bad, though. It’s nothing.” Quickly he pulled the tie back up into place as well. “Um. I should be getting back to work.” He took a step away from the other three. “Thank you again, Dean.” A jerky nod of his head and he was rushing back through the door before the other three could say anything.

“Skittish fellow, ain’t he.” Benny said into the new silence.

“Yeah, he barely talked while he waited. But man does he have a nice laugh.” Charlie offered.

“He’s just shy.” Dean shook his head as he stared out the glass door and watched Castiel climb into his car. “Anyway, give me some of that pie. Sam and Adam should be back any minute and I want a slice before those two see it.” Charlie was already searching behind the desk for the stack of small paper plates she kept down there for lunches and a plastic knife. She had just served up a slice to Benny and Dean as well as the customer that happily accepted her offer of a piece when the door to the shop opened and the two men in question walked in.

“Hey, where were you? You missed lunch.” Sam held up his hands in question as he strode over to his brother.

“Had a tow.” Dean mumbled through a bite of pie.

“That’s what Charlie said, but you never miss lunch for work.” Sam eyed the pie as Charlie handed Adam a slice. 

“Well I had to today.” Dean shrugged and cut into the crust of his slice. “Have a piece.”

“Where did it come from.”

“A customer.”

“A nice, little, old lady.”

“Dean’s crush.”

Benny, Dean, and Charlie all said at the same time causing both Sam and Adam to freeze and look at the trio with wide eyes.

“Castiel.” Dean said through a clenching jaw. “He’s a customer. He got it from a lady he does accounting work for and he passed it onto us.” He shot a finger in Charlie’s direction. “Drop it.” Dean made his way around his brothers and the counter and straight to his office without another word.

“He has a crush on the guy?” Sam asked in the silence left in the wake of the slamming door.

“Yeah, but he’s denying it because the guy has a live-in boyfriend.” Charlie found the pie incredibly interesting and focused on cutting the last of it into slices for later rather than look up at Sam whose bitch face was so strong she could feel it.

“Charlie leave it alone. If the guy is already involved you’re just going to get Dean hurt.” Sam’s voice was a strangely compelling mix of soft and firm and Charlie was sure that’s how he won court cases; it was his lawyer voice. She nodded.

A few minutes later the door to Dean’s office opened once more and he stepped out, much calmer and with a fresh cup of coffee. 

“I don’t pay the three of you to stand around.” He eyed his employees and they got back to work quickly. “Did you need something?” He turned to look at Sam as he made his way back around the desk.

“Nope. Just making sure everything is good. You still coming to dinner Friday?” Sam shoved his hands into the pockets of his dress slacks.

“Yeah, I’ll be there. Tell Amelia to let me know if she needs me to bring anything.”

“Will do.”

Dean nodded and made his way to the door leading to the garage. “Guess I’ll see you then.”

“Ok. Bye.” Sam watched Dean go out to the garage, taking another sip of coffee before stopping to talk to Garth who was working on a car.

“He’ll be fine. He barely knows the guy, it’s not like he is in love with him.” Charlie offered.

“Yeah. I’m sure he’ll be distracted soon enough.” Sam smiled falsely. “See you around, Charlie.”

“Bye, Sam.” He left, not realizing that Dean watched him go from one of the open bay doors with a frown. Castiel was just a customer, and a shy one at that. He didn’t seem to want anything more from Dean than occasional work on his boyfriend’s car. And Dean was just fine with that arrangement. He was.


	3. Chapter 3

Dean managed to move on with his life, after all everything was just as it had always been. Attractive men and women crossed Dean’s path all the time, he even had interaction with them, and some of them a lot more _interaction_. Castiel was just another customer that Dean hoped to see in the future for business and nothing more.

Of course none of that stopped the slow spread of a smile across his face one day weeks later when he realized the trench coated figure sitting hunched over on a park bench was indeed the shy accountant.

Dean had been having lunch with Sam in his office since the busy lawyer had been unable to get away from work long enough for an actual lunch. Being the awesome big brother that he is, Dean had bought lunch and joined his brother in the office. But he did refuse to help with any of the papers littering the place, much to Sam’s dismay. Eventually the giant of a man had heaved a sigh and collapsed onto the leather couch his secretary had been occupying until Dean had shown up, hence why it was the only clear space, and motioned for his food. Dean had grinned and handed his brother the club sandwich that had been the healthiest thing on the menu and the men had settled into comfortable conversation that stayed away from cars and law cases.

Arriving at the offices, Dean had grumbled about the lack of parking and the fact that he had been forced to walk across the tiny park carrying their food to reach his brother’s building. Leaving, he was enjoying the cold sunshine and meandering walk back to the Impala and subsequently work. And then he had seen him. Dean’s path had taken him slowly around the figure only a few yards away until he was finally in front of the man and able to make out enough facial features to put a name to the form.

“Cas?” Dean said just loud enough to get the man’s attention but apparently it was still a little too loud, causing the man to jerk as he looked up and around for the source of the voice. “It is you. Hey man!” Dean got closer and steadily his smile dropped into a frown, even as Castiel’s frown slowly disappeared.

“Hello Dean.” Castiel gave a small nod and closed the book he had been bent reading.

“Hey, buddy what happened?” Dean moved quickly to sit beside Castiel, ignoring the way the accountant slid a little closer to the arm of the bench.

“What?” Castiel’s fingers fidgeted with the book in his lap, his gaze ducking down.

“Your cheek man, that’s kinda nasty and it looks old. Can’t imagine what it must have looked like fresh.” Dean barely stopped himself from reaching out and prodding at the yellowed edges of the wide bruise that took up most of the other man’s right cheek. The middle was a muddy brown surrounding a small nearly healed cut.

“Oh, um, nothing, just an accident.” Castiel’s hand reached up to make the gentle movement Dean had wanted to.

“What kind of accident?” Dean leaned a little closer to get a better look, but seeing the way Castiel leaned away he backed up.

“Bar fight.” Castiel threw out as if it was the first thing that came to mind and Dean frowned.

“Seriously? You don’t look like the bar fight kind of person, Cas. Heck you don’t even seem like a bar person in general.” Dean tried to look the man in eye but he was avidly avoiding it.

“Well I am, I go with my coworkers.” Castiel shrugged and bit his lip.

“And apparently you start fights.” Dean raised his eyebrows.

“Well, no. It wasn’t me, no.” Castiel shook his head. “I had had a few too many drinks I suppose.” His voice had grown softer. “But as soon as it happened Balthazar stopped.”

“What?” Dean frowned, thoroughly confused.

“T-the fight. Balthazar… he stopped it… the fight.” Castiel stuttered, trying to compose himself with a shaky breath.

“Oh, ok. He’s your boyfriend right?” Dean waited for the jerky nod Castiel gave him. “Yeah. Well it looks like it’s almost gone, so there’s that. Good thing he broke it up before worse happened, eh?” Castiel closed his eyes for a beat, took a slightly deeper breath, and turned a small false smile to Dean.

“So, what brings you around here?”

“Oh, lunch with my brother. You may have seen him pulling up as you were leaving the garage after the tire change, the giant one.” Dean held his hand over his head a few inches to emphasize his point. The smile on Castiel’s lips turned a little more genuine. “Yeah, he couldn’t get away for lunch so I brought it to him.”

“Alone? I thought you had two brothers?” Castiel’s hands finally stilled in his lap.

“Adam is sick. Good thing the shop was slow today or I wouldn’t have been able to come out here.” Dean leaned back into the bench. “So what are you reading?”

“Oh, um, nothing?” Castiel shook his head and moved his hands further to cover the book. Dean marveled at the way his blush stood out against the ugly colors of the bruise, muting them somehow enough to be beautiful.

“Aw, come on, man, now you have to tell me.” Dean grinned as Castiel slowly held up the book for the other man’s inspection. “The Secret Life of Bees? Really?” Dean bit back a laugh.

“I know it’s ridiculous.” Castiel hid the book beneath his arms once more. “But my sister gave it to me one year for my birthday.” Castiel’s fingers began to fidget once more. “She said it was such a wonderful read, which I soon realized was due mainly to the fact that she is a female and predisposed to like such sappy story lines.” Dean burst out a laugh.

“I’ll have to use that line on Charlie sometime.” Dean’s laughter quieted as he watched Castie’s real smile reappear. “But you read it anyway.”

“Well it was a gift.” Castiel’s eyes darted around the park for a moment, as if looking for someone listening. “And I actually enjoyed it, surprisingly. Although I think mostly that is due to the presence of the bees. Without that point she wouldn’t have bought it for me and I would never have bothered read it.”

“You like bees?” Dean’s brows furrowed but his smile remained.

“Fascinating creatures really.” Castiel nodded. Dean noticed his shoulders had slowly begun to sag downward and the accountant looked a little more relaxed.

“If you say so.”

“Balthazar doesn’t understand it either.” Castiel sighed a little. “Nor does he understand why I would read the book again.” A small shrug which left his shoulders back in their tense position.

“Again? This isn’t your first time?”

“Oh no. I’ve lost count.” He showed the book once more and this time Dean could make out the worn edges: the slight rip in the top of the cover where it met the spine, the rounded edges of the pages, the creases in the spine.

“Well, your sister must be happy that she got you to read it so much.” Dean laughed, but Castiel only gave him a tight nod of the head. They remained silent for a long moment, Castiel staring down at the book as his fingers worried the upper edge of the pages and Dean watching him.

“I, um, I should probably get back to work.” Castiel began to stand, moving a quick step away when Dean did the same.

“Hey, I’ll walk with you, it’s on the way to my car.” Dean offered. He knew he was just torturing himself with this man, already taken and too shy for Dean even if he wasn’t. But something drew Dean in, made his gut clench every time he had been able to make Castiel smile, pushed him to get to know him through their very limited interaction.

“You don’t know where I work, how could you know it is on the way?” Castiel frowned.

“I could use the exercise after the lunch I just ate.” Dean patted his stomach with that little pudge he hated so much but not enough to change anything. “Anywhere can be on the way to my car.” He smirked at the skeptical tilt of the head Castiel gave.

“Where did you park?”

Dean gave a sigh and pointed a little off to the left with a squint. “In the public garage over on Elm.” Castiel’s eyebrows raised in surprise.

“You found parking in there? Balthazar is always complaining about no empty spaces.” Castiel tilted his head in the direction Dean had pointed before he took a step. Dean grinned and fell into step beside him.

“There is always parking on the top level.”

“Oh, he never likes to park that far up.” Castiel shook his head. “Doesn’t like the trek down the stairs.”

“I agree there. Wish they would put in an elevator. But I’m not putting Baby any lower were idiots that can’t park in tight spaces are going to scratch her.” Dean shook his head. He must have taken a step too close, his hand brushing Castiel’s, because the other man jerked over a step with a wince. “Sorry.” Dean shoved his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket.

“I-it… it’s ok.” Castiel stuttered and shoved his hand into his coat pocket as well, the other now carrying his book. “Um.” He cleared his throat. “Baby?” He grasped onto the hanging end of the conversation.

“Oh, yeah, my car. Sixty-seven Chevy Impala, mint condition.” Dean’s lips tilted in a smile, this was a subject he could talk about forever. Castiel seemed to be thinking hard for a moment before he finally, for the first time since they had begun walking, looked at Dean. 

“The big black car in the parking lot of the auto-shop?”

“Yeah.” Dean let out a chuckle. “She leaves an impression doesn’t she?”

“That she does. It is a really beautiful car.” Castiel’s voice was a little more sure with the space now between them.

“Thanks. She was my dad’s. One thing he did well was keep her purring like the day he bought her.”

“But you now have her?”

“Yeah. He died a few years back in a car crash. In Baby actually.” Dean nodded. “I got her pretty beat up alright, but managed to slowly piece her back together.”

“Oh. I am sorry, I didn’t realize.” Castiel shook his head and took a shaky breath.

“Nah, man, you didn’t know. Anyway, it’s been a while, I’ve gotten over it.” He pursed his lips and lowered his voice. “The car actually helped a lot, too. You know, gave me something to focus on while I dealt with it all.” For a moment Dean wondered if things would have been different if his father hadn’t taken such good care of the Impala, if the car had been less than perfect, if it could have been something for John Winchester to focus on when his wife died, would it have been enough to distract him, would he have kept away from alcohol, would things have been different. Castiel’s voice pulled him from his thoughts, even as soft as it was.

“Balthazar gave me that when my own father passed.” He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and slowly pulled it out before doing the same with the top one. Dean wondered if that was the cause for their chapped state before Castiel began talking again. “He helped pull me out of my grief, gave me something good to focus on.” He nodded firmly. “Anyway.” He took in a deep breath and huffed it out as he came to stop and turned to Dean. “It was nice seeing you again Dean.”

Dean looked up to see they were standing in front of the parking garage. “I said I would walk you back to your offices.” He frowned.

“I’m just across the street.” He made no move to indicate which street he was across on. Dean looked around them. The garage sat on the corner of a four-way intersection and the other three held tall office buildings housing multiple companies among their numerous floors. 

“Well, ok then.” Dean nodded and looked back to Castiel whose gaze wouldn’t lift above Dean’s shirt. “Guess I’ll see you around, Cas.”

“Perhaps.” His voice was barely a whisper among the traffic. “Goodbye, Dean.”

“Bye, Cas.” Dean turned and made his way to the open stairwell of the garage. Looking over his shoulder he saw Castiel standing still watching him with an almost sad expression. Dean gave a small wave to which Castiel gave an answering nod. Stepping into the stairwell, Dean quickly made his way up the two flights of stairs to the next level where he stopped at the opening in the concrete that served as a window for air circulation. Looking down at the street he watched the familiar form of Castiel in his trench coat cross the street. That big brother part of him that demanded Dean take care of everyone around him held him in place until he had watched Castiel enter his office building safely. 

Slowly Dean made his way up the rest of the floors and to his car. He knew as soon as he got to work he would have to lie about traffic when Charlie asked what had taken him so long getting back to the garage. He just hoped the fiery red-head didn’t push further. He didn’t need everyone bugging him about the guy that fascinated him when the man himself seemed intent on keeping Dean at arm’s length. Dean heaved a sigh as he slid into the driver’s seat of the Impala and wondered why he seemed to always sabotage himself in these ways. With a slow shake of his head and resignation that it was just a character trait particular to him, he started the car and headed back to work.

 

It was a little harder to not think of Castiel this time around. As Dean was learning little things about him, he was becoming more of a mystery and attraction to Dean. Which was the exact worst thing that could happen, so he tried to distract himself. That made it more surprising when Dean ran into him again. And at a bar of all places.

The guys had all decided to go to the bar after work, meaning Benny, Garth, and Adam had arrived nearly a full hour earlier, clocking out and cheerfully yelling that they would save a little beer for their boss, if he hurried. Charlie, considered one of the guys by now, had clapped Dean on the back and promised to stick around and help with the paperwork. The garage closed early since there were no cars in the bays, and the two of them got to quickly working. By the time Dean’s Impala led Charlie’s Bug into the parking lot of their usual haunt, the Roadhouse, Dean was so past ready for a drink. Being Friday night, they were not surprised to find it crowded, being the unofficial step-kid of the owner, Dean was also not surprised to find the guys at the best table in the house. The duo gave a wave to Jo and Ellen behind the bar, and made their way to their coworkers.

“Took you long enough.” Benny shouted as he pushed a chair from the table for Charlie to sit. 

“Careful, Benny. Comments like that get you promoted to being able to close up on the nights I just want to go home.” Dean shot at him. Looking down at the pitcher on the table, he let out a groan to find it empty.

“I got you.” The cheerful, easy tone of Jo said from right behind him as she set a fresh pitcher and two new glasses on the table. “This one’s on me.” She grinned at Dean. “Long day at work?”

“You could say that.” Dean nodded and turned in his chair to face her a little better. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Charlie pour him a glass after her own. He gave her a little nod of thanks and reached for the glass. “Looks like it’s going to be a long one for you, too.” He waved a finger around the room before taking a sip of his beer.

“Weekends always are, but yeah, tonight might be especially hard.” Jo frowned and cocked her hip to lean against the table. Over her shoulder, Dean saw the way Garth shifted away to give her more room. This caused him to move into Adam’s side who didn’t seem to care since he was too busy staring at the side of Jo’s head. 

“How so?” Dean asked, trying to hide the smile seeing his younger brother so caught up in the girl Dean considered a sister.

“Ruby is here.” That jerked his attention back to her.

“What?”

“Yeah apparently she is here with some people from her work.” Jo shook her head and rubbed her forehead. “At least she is smart enough to stay out of my way. Dorothy has been serving them for me, too.”

“Good. Stay away from her.” Dean shook his head, eyes only briefly scanning the room for the girl that had once dated Sam before turning back to Jo. “Other than that?”

“Oh other than that it is just a normal Friday night. Crazy as hell!” She laughed and grabbed up both pitchers, the new one already empty. “One of y’all covering the next?”

“I’ll get it.” Dean offered, grinning at the small cheer his employees gave. Jo nodded and left.

“Stare any harder at her and your eyes are going to fall out of your skull.” Benny joked, slapping Adam on the shoulder.

“Why don’t you ask her out already?” Garth asked, moving back to his original spot. Adam shot Dean a look.

“Hey, don’t blame me. I’ve done nothing but treat her like a sister.” Dean held his hands up in surrender.

“Yeah, apparently she is taking it as playing hard to get and doesn’t see anyone else.” Adam’s face fell.

“I’ve offered to talk to her.”

“No! She’ll think I’m so lame having my big brother asking her out for me.” Adam let his head fall to his hands. Dean couldn’t stop the grin that spread over his face. Adam had only been around them for a few years, but he already felt like one of the Winchesters, and for Dean, to whom family was everything, that was the best thing in the world.

“Hey, I didn’t say I would ask her out for you. Just talk to her, let her know very clearly that nothing is ever going to be happening between me and her and that maybe there is someone else interested instead.” Dean shrugged.

“If seeing you hook up with every able body in the county doesn’t do it, I don’t think a talk will.” Benny offered around his beer.

“She thinks she could be the one to change you, if you would give her a chance. Classic female mentality.” Charlie spoke up. The men looked at her in unison. “Hey, I understand how chicks think, doesn’t mean I think like that, too.” She shook her head and took a drink, on which she proceeded to choke.

“Hey, you ok?” Dean clapped her roughly on the back to help clear her windpipe.

“Yeah.” She rasped. When she finished coughing she looked back up and past the guys. “Holy shit.”

“What?” Garth jerked around to see what the woman had seen behind him.

“Oh.” Benny murmured before letting out a deep laugh. Catching Dean’s eye he jerked his chin to indicate something behind Dean.

“What?” Dean frowned and slowly turned to look where everyone else was. It was quick, his eyes settling almost instinctively on the dark, messy hair above the collar of a tan trench coat. The head turned and Dean got a very clear view of a barely there smile and one bright blue eye. The man nodded at something the person next to him said before turning his back once more to Dean’s table.

“I kinda didn’t take him for a bar going guy.” Charlie spoke up first.

“Yeah, apparently he has drinks with his coworkers.” Dean turned back to the table. “Oh hey, look at that, he’s as lame as me.” He took a drink of his beer and tried to ignore the way everyone was staring at him.

“How do you know that?” Charlie asked with a suspicious squint at the same time Garth asked, “Who is he?”

Dean decided to answer both. “He’s a customer. We’ve worked on his car a few times. And I happened to run into him one day for all of a minute.” He shrugged.

“Oh that customer.” Garth said knowingly and Dean jerked his attention up to see Garth looking at Benny just as the Cajun stopped mouthing something.

“Shut it.” Dean pointed first at Benny but moved his finger around the circle of people just to make his point. Dropping his hand he ran a thumb up and down in the condensation of his glass.

“Go say hi.” Charlie huffed out, nudging him in the arm. “You know you want to.”

“Nah. I came here to have a drink with you guys. Maybe find a little company for the night.” He looked around the bar, pointedly keeping his gaze only where he could see without turning any part of his body.

“Oh please, I know that face.” Adam huffed. “I see that face every time I use the bathroom in this place. You’re not going to pick anyone up as long as he is right over there. Go talk to him.”

“That’s right, you missed the part about him having a boyfriend, who he shares a damn house with.” Damn shot back. “And you are the last person at this table to be telling me go-get-’em advice.” He frowned into his beer for a long second before finally taking another drink.

“We said to go say hi. To your new best friend. Not jump his bones in middle of the bar.” Charlie smirked. Dean glared at her. “Go. And send Jo back here with the next pitcher already.” She laughed and threw back the rest of her beer, trying to play catch up with her coworkers.

“Fine. But I’ll be right back.” Dean stood, pausing long enough to down the last of his beer with the same gusto. He tugged off his jacket and draped it over the back of his chair, a placeholder as proof he would just say hi. He straightened his shirts.

“Oh sweet jesus, just go!” Adam yelled causing the others to laugh.

“Just ‘cause you’re blood, doesn’t mean I won’t fire you.” Dean pointed at the younger man who grinned back.

“That’s exactly what it means.” Then he made shooing motions with his hands and Dean turned and practically stormed off across the bar.

“Jo!” Dean called as he leaned into the the bartop, hands placed against the edges to avoid the sticky surface.

“You do see the crowded bar, right? I have other people to serve.” But she walked to stand across from him anyway.

“Yeah, but none of them are as pretty as me.” Dean smirked, but rather than throw his usual wink her way, he turned his head to see Castiel standing only a few people over, looking at him out of the corner of his eye as he supposedly listened to someone else talk. Dean smiled, tapping his fingers on the bar as he turned back to Jo. “The guys want the next pitcher.” She raised an eyebrow. “Please.” She smiled and nodded, beginning to turn away but he reached out a hand to stop her. “And hey.” He looked over his shoulder to see his friends talking but obviously watching him. “Why don’t you give Adam a minute of your time. Maybe when you get a break?” Dean watched the girl who was like a sister to him closely. 

“Adam?” She frowned, shoving her hands into her back pockets, before her eyes flicked in the other man’s direction.

“Yeah, you know. My brother. The guy mooning over you.” He watched as she bit her bottom lip and her shoulders sagged just slightly.

“I don’t know, Dean.”

“Come on. It’s just one break. Give him a chance.” Dean would have tried the puppy dog eyes that his brother had perfected, but he knew he was no good at them. Instead he smiled sweetly at her and rapped the knuckles of one fist on the bar. “Ok.” Not giving her a chance to speak up, he moved away from the bar long enough to take six steps over and lean on a new spot.

Castiel was on the far side of a group of people Dean assumed were his coworkers, and while he was turned toward the group and even occasionally looked to be participating in the conversations in some way, he still looked like he was on the outside. Which was kind of perfect for Dean who came to a stop on the other side of him and slowly leaned an elbow on the bar, facing Castiel but with at least two feet of space between them. It was a difficult thing to do with the crowded bar, but Dean knew how much it bother Castiel to be too close to people, so he made it work.

“Hey, Cas.” Castiel immediately turned around. “I gotta say, man, I didn’t believe you at first about the whole bar thing. But here you are.” He watched as something he couldn’t quiet make out flashed in Castiel’s eyes, fear or worry maybe? But then it faded and there was that small, hint of a smile Dean was growing used to.

“Hello Dean. Yes, here I am.” He gave a small nod and looked down at the nearly empty drink in front of him.

“Can I buy you another one?” Dean pointed at the glass.

“Oh. No. I-I don’t think that would be wise. No.” Dean frowned at the flustered speech. He had hoped they had moved past Castiel’s shyness around him.

“You driving tonight?” He offered up an explanation for the other man’s refusal.

“No.” Castiel frowned and shook his head, his gaze remained lowered.

“Ok.” Dean pursed his lips. “So you’re here with your friends?” Dean tried again.

“Coworkers. Yes. You?” Castiel’s voice was clipped, his answers short; Dean wondered if he should go back to his own table.

“Same. But you know, they're like my extended family, so it’s not so bad.” Dean shrugged. “Do you guys come here often?”

“No. It was someplace new someone wanted to try.” His hands began to fidget, and he lifted one to pull at the scarf Dean now noticed tied around his neck.

“Dude. It is burning up in here. How are you still in your coat and a scarf.” Dean straightened his posture.

“I am fine.” Castiel shook his head and he straightened the scarf a little, covering everything from the collar of his shirt to his jaw. Dean stared at the material. It looked to be soft now that he was noticing it, and it was a steel blue color that did wonders for Castiel’s eyes. But the way it was looped around his neck to make sure every bit was encircled looked to be stifling. 

“Ok.” Dean nodded slowly. His eyes caught Jo about to walk by and he extended a hand just slightly and mouthed the word ‘water’ to her. She shot a look at Castiel before giving a small nod. “So, your boyfriend here tonight? Is he the one doing the driving? I’d like to finally meet him.” It took everything in him not to grimace at his own words or physically kick himself when Castiel seemed to deflate at the suggestion.

“No. He lets me come out with my coworkers alone.” The word ‘let’ sat between them heavily, making Dean uneasy in too many ways, but before he could comment on it Jo had reappeared with a glass of water. “Oh. Thank you.” Quickly he took up the glass and made to drink it, but his hand shook slightly and water ran down his chin and right into the covered skin of his neck. Jerking his hand back down he accidently slammed the glass on the bar, but in the crowded room no one noticed but them. “Shit.” He hissed and looked around.

“Here.” Dean pushed up and slightly onto the bar, sticky texture forgotten, to reach under the lip until he felt a pile of napkins. Jumping back onto his feet he moved without thinking and reached to lower the scarf and press a napkin to the other man’s neck. Castiel jerked back, hitting the bar, and let out a wince. For a fraction of a second Dean thought it was the impact with the hard wood that caused the reaction, but when he quickly moved his hands back the scarf came a little loose to reveal the skin beneath and Dean realized the real reason behind the wince.

“Christ.” Dean breathed out. Before Castiel could stop him Dean leaned into his space and moved the scarf more until he could see more of the very large, very ugly bruise that seemed to cover the entire back half of the man’s neck. He only got a brief look, enough to suspect he knew what had caused the mark, before Castiel was pushing him firmly away. “Sorry.” Dean instantly held up his hands to let the man know he wouldn’t do anything more. “Sorry. God. But that is one hell of a bruise, Cas. What the hell happened?”

“Nothing. It was nothing.” Castiel’s movements were jerky, frantic as he he straightened the scarf, hands rearranging expertly until the whole thing was recovered. “It was an accident.” He shook his head. “It was nothing.”

“That’s not nothing, Cas.” Dean’s hands fell, nearly itching with the need to reach out a comforting hand.

“Please, Dean.” Castiel looked him fully in the eye for the first time that night and Dean saw nothing but fear and desperation. “Please.” He swallowed thickly. “I think I need to leave.”

“Hey, wait. If you didn’t drive and your boyfriend’s not here, how are you getting home?”

“A coworker of mine is taking me.” He took a half step away.

“You sure? I know I’m maybe the last person that should offer, but I can drive you.”

“No.” Castiel shook his head firmly. “No. Balthazar trusts Ruby to get me home safe.” There was so much wrong with that one sentence Dean’s brain fumbled for a moment before it settled on the one part he could attack best.

“Ruby? Wait. Ruby Cortese?” His worry only grew when Castiel gave him a hesitant nod. “No. No, Cas. That woman is bad news. Like demonic bad news.” Dean’s attention jerked away from the man in front of him as he searched for the woman in question.

“You know her?”

“Yeah, she dated my brother. A lot of shit went down, none of it good. You can’t go home with her.” Dean looked back to Cas.

“She’s a friend of Balthazar’s. I have known her for years. I assure you, I will be fine. Now, please, I need to go now.” Castiel looked so small, frightened, anxious, that Dean could do nothing but watch him walk away. He wanted to argue more but he had absolutely no leverage. Castiel claimed to have known Ruby for years, trusted her it seemed, and he would not be taking the word of a mechanic he had met less times than he had fingers on one hand over her and his boyfriend.

Castiel approached Ruby, and Dean realized how he had missed her, she had died her hair. When Sam had been drawn to her, Ruby had been blond, and Dean had wondered many times over the years if that had been strictly due to the fact that Sam obviously had a type. The woman Cas approached had long wavy brunette locks, but when she turned it was obviously Ruby. Dean moved a few inches closer to the bar, making sure Ruby didn’t see him as she spoke with Castiel. Her face showed obvious frustration at being pulled away from the guy she was flirting with, more like throwing herself on Dean thought irritably, but she gave a nod and turned to lead Castiel from the bar. Dean was just a little worried he would chip a molar with how hard he was clenching his jaw, but it didn’t stop him from doing it as he walked back to his table.

“Was that Ruby?” Charlie asked in shock, confirming that they had all been watching the whole thing.

“What the hell was that with his neck, Dean? Guy obviously didn’t want to be touched.” Garth shook his head, surprised by the other’s actions.

“That whole thing wasn’t like you, brotha’.” Benny frowned heavily, leaning onto his arms folded on the table top.

“I don’t know.” Dean sighed heavily, his elbow hitting the table and his head falling to land on his hand. “He had this giant bruise and it kinda freaked me out and it all freaked him out and it was just a giant cluster fuck.” Dean lifted his head enough to drop his hand to the table in a fist. “Shit. And yes he left with Ruby. And I just don’t feel right about any of it.” He shook his head. “Look, I am going to go home.”

“Hey.” Charlie jumped off her seat.

“No, I’m just not feeling up to it anymore, Char.”

“You ok?” She stepped up to him and rubbed her hands over his shoulders.

“I will be. Just need to get home and relax.” He gave her a weak smile before pulling her into a brief hug. With one hand he gave a little wave to everyone and with the other he pulled his jacket from the back of the chair, not bothering to put it on as he made his way through the crowded bar and out the door. He was so caught up in his own mind he didn’t even notice that Adam was missing or that Ellen was mumbling under her breath because her daughter was taking one hell of a break at a really bad time.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok. **Warnings** : Mentions of physical abuse at end of chapter.

The next night while at Sam’s house for dinner, Dean waited until Amelia left the room for something before he figuratively pounced on his younger brother.

“Hey, Sam, so when you were dating Ruby-” Dean’s voice was hushed, and quickly covered by Sam’s when the other let out a groan.

“Oh, God, Dean, don’t.” Sam pushed his chair away from the table and stood. Dean jumped to follow.

“No, no, no, no. Wait. This isn’t about you. Or really her.” Dean quickly grabbed up his plate and the dish that had held dinner and followed his brother to the kitchen sink.

“That what the hell could it possibly be about?” Sam dropped his and Amelia’s plates on the counter to begin cleaning them off.

“Cas.” Dean said simply and his brother gave him a confused frown.

“Who?”

“Castiel. The-the guy who brought in the pie that one day I missed lunch.” He could tell Sam was searching his memory to the day over a month ago.

“Ok. So what does Ruby have to do with anything?”

“While you two were dating did she ever mention a guy named Balthazar?” Dean handed over another plate as Sam thought for only a moment.

“No.”

“Seriously. Think hard.”

“Dean, that’s a weird name. I would have remembered it.” Sam shook his head. 

“Ok.” Dean nodded and stayed silent, thinking.

“What’s this about Dean?”

“Like I said, Cas.”

“No, I get that much. What about him?”

“He was at the bar last night and he left with Ruby.” Dean was too distracted for much else and he was only confusing his brother more.

“What do you mean? Ruby was at the bar? Where did you guys go? The Roadhouse?” Sam was growing more agitated, which was understandable. The Roadhouse was their safe place, owned and operated by the woman who had stepped in to be a mother figure for them both when times were tough with just their father. While they had been dating Sam had only dared to bring Ruby there once where the girl made such a scene Ellen had openly threatened her to leave and not come back. The disappointed look Ellen had shot Sam that night had been one of a handful of things that had helped snap him out of whatever hold Ruby had over him. Ruby daring to go back to the Roadhouse was not a good sign.

“Calm down. I hardly recognized her, I doubt Ellen did, being so busy behind the bar. And she behaved herself as far as I could tell. Or at least enough that Jo didn’t tell her to leave.” Dean shrugged.

“And she left with Cas? I thought he had a boyfriend.” Sam stopped washing the dishes to turn to Dean, trying to sort it all out.

“He does. Balthazar. Apparently him and Ruby are good friends. She drove Cas home last night.” Dean shook his head, not offering up the statement Castiel had made that made Dean so uneasy.

“Maybe Ruby has changed?” Sam’s voice was so unsure that Dean knew his brother couldn’t believe that statement any more than he should expect Dean to. “I don’t know. She never mentioned him.” Sam was hesitant and Dean knew what his brother was leaving out. _‘At least, not that I can remember.’_

His sophomore year in college, Sam had met Jess. She was amazing, perfect, and Sam was beyond in love. He was looking at rings their senior year when their little apartment caught fire and she didn’t make it out. Devastated, Sam graduated by sliding by on his already existing grades. Dean took him on a long road trip to help him clear his head, get away for a few days, pull himself back together. Sam moved back to Kansas to be closer to his remaining family, and applied to law school. A year later, while he was going strong, he had met Ruby, a secretary at the law firm he was interning at over the summer. What followed was a whirl wind year filled with parties, alcohol, and eventually drugs. Sam began a lifestyle of riskier behavior that scared Dean, Ellen, and Jo, but they could do nothing but watch as he slowly spiraled downward. Lucky to have made it through his second year in law school, Sam spent that summer in a drug induced haze that lost him his internship, found him cut off from his family, and eventually resulted in him being the last to know that their Uncle Bobby had been hospitalized for a massive heart attack. Dean had drove to South Dakota by himself with only the worry for both his uncle and brother to keep him company. Bobby was fine in the end, but the event was the last straw for Sam. Dean had come home from the trip, having stayed with Bobby for a few weeks as he settled back into life, to find a sweating and shaking Sam on the doorstep to his apartment.

Sam had gone to rehab for two months, missing the first week of school, but it gave him something to focus on enough that he was able to stay clean. By the time Adam showed up, Sam was beginning to get his life back together. Ruby showed up once when he had come home from the treatment facility, and while Dean hadn’t been present for the confrontation, his neighbors were able to tell him all about it. For a while after that Sam would catch the woman hovering on the edges of his life, trying to find a way in. Everyone made sure that didn’t happen. Sam graduated with a slightly lower GPA than he had wanted, had to restudy an entire year of courses that he couldn’t really remember, but took his bar exam and officially became a lawyer. Two years later, a dog ran in front of Sam’s car. The vet had been Amelia. They were planning their two year anniversary next month.

“Yeah. Ok. Well thanks anyway.” Dean gave a weak nod and handed over the last plate. He was absentmindedly chewing on his lower lip when the water shut off and Sam leaned his hip on the edge of the counter to stare at his brother.

“Don’t do this.”

“What?” Dean’s head jerked up.

“You can’t protect everyone, Dean. Whatever Ruby’s connection to him, if Cas trusts her, if his boyfriend trusts her, you just have to leave it alone.”

“The woman is poison, Sam. And something is not right there.” He shook his head, still unwilling to tell his brother about the bruise. Bruises.

“He’s not your responsibility, Dean.” Sam’s voice grew louder.

“He’s a friend.”

“You barely know him!” Sam threw up his hands.

“Everything ok in here?” Amelia asked quietly from the doorway of the kitchen.

“Just peachy.” Dean ground out.

“Please, Dean. You’re right, she’s poison.” Sam pointedly kept his eyes locked on his brother and Dean wondered how much Amelia knew about Sam’s ex. “And so you should stay far away from her. Mind your own business. I am sure the guy will be fine.”

“He already isn’t.” Dean said quietly. Turning to Amelia he didn’t even try for a smile, couldn’t muster it up then. “Dinner was wonderful.” She stepped forward and pulled him into a tight hug.

“Whatever you do, please be careful.” She whispered into his ear low enough so Sam wouldn’t hear. Dean squeezed her a little tighter and dropped a kiss to her hair.

“You two have a good night.” He only glanced in his brother’s direction long enough to give him a nod before he was leaving the kitchen and then the house.

Nearly home Dean decided he badly needed a drink, but he really didn’t feel like being around people. Liquor store it is, then. Quickly he steered the car into the parking lot of the nearest store and parked. He was too caught up in his own thoughts, making his way determinedly through the aisles to grab a bottle of whiskey. Turning a corner his eyes skimmed the shelves, looking for his usual bottle, when he caught sight of the man standing midway down the isle. At first, with the absence of the tan trench coat, Dean wasn’t sure that it was Castiel, but he knew that hunched posture. The hair was far messier, like he had not only forgotten to comb it down but had been running his hands through it repeatedly. And then Dean saw the dark edges of the bruise just above the hood it seemed Castiel had bunched at his neck to try and hide the mark.

“Cas?” Dean took another few steps closer as the other man visibly flinched and turned around, eyes only taking him in for a second before falling to the white tile of the store floor.

“Hello, Dean.” His voice was barely above a whisper. Dean took in the sight of him looking kind of pathetic in his worn jeans, a green t-shirt, and the dulled red, unzipped hoodie. 

“Wow, almost didn’t recognize you.” Dean stopped a few feet away from him and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. No way was he going to make the same mistakes and scare the other man off. Castiel only gave him a small nod before his head jerked up at some sound only he noticed and he was frantically looking over his shoulder. “Hey, man, can I talk to you?”

“Dean, this is really not a good time.” Castiel looked at him only long enough for Dean to see the fear in his eyes. “In fact, I think it’s best if you just stay away from me.” He took a step back.

“Look, I didn’t mean to upset you last night. I’m just…” Dean took a deep breath. “I’m worried about you, ok?”

“Don’t be.” Castiel hissed. Shaking his head he took several more steps back.

“Castiel?” The voice was like a live wire running through Castiel’s body and Dean watched as he simultaneously went stiff and sank into himself. A man approached them from the end of the isle behind Castiel, Dean quickly recognizing him from the house when he had first met Castiel. He stopped next to his boyfriend, looking from him to Dean and back with a smile so fake Dean nearly took a step back. “And who is this, Cassie?” His accent nearly made Dean sneer, but he held it in and plastered his own smile in place.

“Dean Winchester.” Dean held out a hand, forcing the other man to move the one he was about to wrap around Castiel to instead shake hands. “Mechanic.”

“Ah yes, now I remember you. Balthazar, Cassie’s fiance.” The word had Dean’s hand falling to his side like lead. Balthazar moved his once more to Castiel’s back and around to his hip which he used as leverage to pull the man closer to him. Dean watched as Castiel closed his eyes and winced at the pressure and Dean had a sinking suspicion there was another bruise under that possessive hand. “And what were you two talking about?” Balthazar turned cold eyes from Dean to Castiel who wouldn’t look up to meet them.

“Nothing, Balt.” Castiel said softly, almost pleadingly.

“Yeah, no, nothing. Just getting past hellos and remember-me’s.” Dean nodded as he pursed his lips. Balthazar hummed. “Actually, though.” Dean began but the way Castiel looked up just enough so that Dean could see his wide eyes and his mouthed ‘please’ had him stumbling to a halt, darting his eyes back to Balthazar as the man spoke.

“Yes? What is it?”

“Oh um, you could save me a little hassle maybe, do you know where the whiskey is?” It was a very poor cover up with the bottles starting almost exactly where Dean stood and a small sign hanging from the top of the shelf nearly between him and Castiel indicating it was there, but it was the best he had just then. With a smirk that said Balthazar thought Dean was a complete moron, he lifted the hand holding a bottle of wine to point at the shelf. “Yeah, thanks.” Dean tried for an embarrassed grin.

“Well, love, I think it’s time we get home.” Balthazar said as he took a step and pulled Castiel along with him. Castiel gave no resistance, only nodding weakly in acknowledgment of the statement. “Good bye Mr. Winchester.” As they stepped even with Dean he looked down at Castiel who barely lifted his head to give Dean the perfect view of his sad eyes. Suddenly Dean felt acutely the loss of that voice, the one that would have called him by his first name so familiarly despite the few times they had met. His heart clenched at the absence of the barely there smile that was already too small for the man who could light up the lobby of Singer and Sons with a single laugh. Dean’s fingers twitched and he felt the light brush of Castiel’s skin against his, sending a jolt through his fingertips.

Dean turned to face the shelves of whiskey long enough to let the other two men make it down the isle. Quickly he grabbed up his usual bottle and walked hurriedly in the same direction. He paused at the end of the shelves, leaning around the corner enough to watch Balthazar and Castiel at the registers paying for the bottle of wine. As Balthazar spoke to the cashier, Castiel angled his head just enough to catch a glimpse of Dean watching. Then Balthazar had a hold of his upper arm and was rather forcefully leading him from the store. Dean moved to the register and put the liquor down without taking his eyes off the other two men who were now stepping up to the car Dean had missed even as he had parked next to it. He saw Balthazar open Castiel’s door, lean in close to talk to him, receive meek nods in return, and push the other man into the car and slam the door. It was when he turned to look at Dean’s car that the mechanic began to feel panic with the anger.

“Don’t do it asshole.” Dean mumbled. Looking over he saw the cashier staring at him. “Sorry.” He looked back out the windows to see Balthazar looking at the roof of the building before making eye contact with Dean for a single moment. “No. No. Nononono.” His hands flew to his head to run through his hair as Balthazar’s lowered his hand as he began walking down the length of the cars to round the trunk. “Goddamit!” Dean saw the way Balthazar’s hand was extended just enough so that his key was scratching the door as he moved between their cars. “Son of a bitch!”

“Sir, please calm down.” A manager had appeared while Dean was occupied with watching what was happening in the parking lot.

“Did you see what he just did to my car?” Dean turned on the two men standing on the other side of the register, one arm extended to point at Balthazar who had just climbed into his car. The young cashier, must have just hit twenty-one, shook his head, his eyes wide.

“Asshole just keyed my car!”

“Sir.” The manager held up placating hands which only served to piss Dean off more.

“No. Do you have cameras out in the lot?”

“On the corners of the building.” The manager said to try and appease him. “But sir if we could take this to the office I am sure we could calmly resolve-”

“Bullshit.” Dean gritted out. He knew with the angle and location the cameras would only pick up Balthazar walking between the vehicles, no way would they see the side of Dean’s car getting scratched. Furious he threw down a couple of bills, not bothering to check how much, grabbed up his bottle, and stormed out of the store. Coming to a stop next to his car he yelled into the deserted lot. “Son of a bitch!” His heart hurt at the sight of the thin white wavering line that now ran most of the length of his car.

Dean hurried into his car and started it, wanting to get home as quickly as he could. As soon as he was there, he ran up the steps to his apartment and rushed inside to thump the bottle of whiskey on the kitchen counter. He reached in his back pocket for his cell phone, scrolling determinedly through the contacts until he found the number he needed. It only rang twice before the line picked up.

“Henrickson.”

“Some asshole keyed my car, Victor.”

“Dean, vandalism isn’t my jurisdiction. Call the local PD.”

“I know who did it but I got no proof.” Dean threw open a cabinet and pulled down a glass. “But that’s not what I need you for. The guy that did it, I think he is beating his boyfriend.” Dean poured and swallowed down a shot of the whiskey, the hot liquid burning on the way down.

“Again, not my jurisdiction.” Victor sighed. “What proof do you have.” Dean winced. He had no proof except for a couple bruises with suspicious explanations. His silence had been too long, Victor knew all he needed to. “Dean, look.” His voice was strained and Dean could just imagine his friend sitting at his desk, elbow on a stack of paperwork, head pressed into his fingers as he rubbed at his forehead. “One, I can’t just rush in to arrest some guy on your gut feeling, even though in matters like this I know your gut is a hell of a lot more useful than a lot of feds. Two, I can’t rush in to arrest some guy seeing as how I got no business handling a local case. Three, even if I wanted to help you, which I don’t really because you don’t have anything but your gut, refer to number one, I am on thin ice as it is when your name hits my desk.”

Dean closed his eyes and hung his head, the phone gripped tight to his ear. He knew he had no right calling up his friend. The friend he had made because they had been face to face too many times on cases involving first John Winchester and then Sam. The friend that Dean had pleaded with for more chances than anyone should be given on behalf of his family. The friend that had put his neck on the line almost as many times as Dean had, but had more to loose each and every time. The friend he had been much closer to than just a friend should be for a while. The friend that couldn’t really help in this case but stayed on the line and continued to speak anyway.

“What’s going on Dean. Tell me about the guy.” Dean poured himself more whiskey.

“Cas is the victim. I’ve run into him a couple of time over the past month or so and each time he has these new bruises. And I know what you think, but I just know. And this last one looked a lot like a hand print on the back of his neck. And those are just the ones I can see. Finally met Balthazar tonight, his boyfriend. Guy was possessive as hell. And you know Cas said something last night when I saw him.” Dean shook his head and took a drink. The sentence had been on repeat in his head and each time it made him sick. “He said Balthazar _let_ Cas go out drinking with co-workers and _trusted_ Ruby to get him home safe. And I don’t know, it sounds innocent enough I know, but just the way he said it and everything, it rubs me the wrong way.” He realized he was rambling, needing Victor to know everything.

“Wow, you’re really pushing your luck with this one, Dean.” Victor let out a sigh. “Is this Cas a friend of yours?”

“Well, sort of. He was a costumer, and the few times I’ve run into him we have had some talks.” The more Dean spoke the lower his hope sank. “I got nothing don’t I Victor?”

“Yeah. This is a long shot, even for you.”

“I just know.” Dean’s voice was strained.

“I know, Dean.” The words were comforting, because Victor did know. When he had come looking for John Winchester that first time on suspicions of credit card fraud, it had been just after a beating that Dean opened the door. He had been unable to block every hit, was showing a few ugly bruises, and was still a little shaky when he answered the door. After that Victor had watched closely as he spent time with Dean. “But you can’t save everyone.”

“Sam said something similar.” Dean smirked into his glass.

“Kid’s smart.” Victor let out a small chuckle. “And this time I don’t think there is anything you can do unless the guy goes to the cops, and I mean the local PD, Dean, and files domestic assault charges.” He could practically hear the shake of the agent’s head over the phone.

“I think he’s too scared.” Dean set his glass down with a sigh. “But I’ll talk to him.”

“Just don’t do anything stupid, Dean. I don’t think I can help bail you out on assault charges if you go hitting this guy to try to supposedly save the boyfriend.”

“I can’t make any promises, Vic.”

“Of course you can’t.” Another dry chuckle. “Keep me in the loop, Dean. I will see if I can call in some contacts to get any help. What did you say the guys name is?”

“Balthazar.”

“Got a last name?”

“No. Shit. He’s living with Castiel Novak.”

“Ok, maybe I can find out a little more about him.” There was a pause. “Wait, did you say that he is friends with Ruby?”

“Yeah. That is what tipped me off that something is off about the guy. Well, until I met him and I realized everything is off about him.”

“Ok, well she is in the federal database, so I will look into her and known associates, see if I can find anything about the guy. It’s not a promise, Dean, you gotta understand. But I will try to help where I can.”

“Thank you, Vic.”

“You’re welcome. Now put down the whiskey and get some rest.” Dean laughed at how Victor just knew. “I’ll call when I can.”

“Ok. Bye, Vic.”

“Bye Dean.” And the line went dead, leaving Dean to the silence of his apartment. He looked down at the still half full glass on the counter, looked at his phone, and back to the glass. Tucking his phone in his back pocket he downed the last of the whiskey before screwing the cap back in place and putting it away.

Sunday was spent cleaning the apartment as Dean tried to keep Cas and Balthazar off his thoughts. He wasn’t sure what all he could do, but he knew he was going to try. Starting Monday. Until then he wiped down every surface, reorganized his cds and dvds, cleaned out the fridge, and pointedly ignored his cell phone, knowing each time it was Sam. When he finally gave in it was only to text his brother.

**DEAN: I’m fine. Just don’t feel like talking.**

Monday morning he was in the shop long before it was due to open, unable to sleep or remain inactive very much longer. He had Castiel’s business card on his desk, where Charlie had left it, and as soon as he had set a pot of coffee going he sat down to stare at the small piece of card stock. Everything in him wanted him to call the number on the card, find out when Castiel would have a free moment to talk, or even see if he would stop by the garage that morning. But the chance that the number was Castiel’s personal cell phone, that Balthazar could be the one to answer so early in the morning, kept Dean from actually making the call.

“What are you doing here this early?” Charlie asked in shock as she stopped in the doorway of the office. Dean had left everything locked up, so she hadn’t known he was there until she saw him hunched over the desk. “How long have you been here? You look like shit.” Her voice was filled with worry as she stepped closer when he had lifted his head.

“Nothing. I’m fine.” Dean shook his head and stood. “Look, I have some stuff to do, but I will be back at some point. I just don’t know when so don’t schedule me any cars. The guys should have it covered.” He rounded the desk and made to step past her out the door.

“Dean. Stop. What is going on. You’re in here before dawn and now you are taking a day off. You’re starting to really worry me.”

“I’ll tell you when I figure it out myself, ok Charlie?” He heaved a sigh and tried to give her a pleading look but the tired look in his eyes ruined the effect.

She bit her lip and gave a small nod. “It’s about Castiel, isn’t it?” He was silent and she nodded again, this time more firmly. “Ok. Just be careful, whatever it is that you are doing.” She pulled him into a tight hug and Dean held on for a long moment.

“I’ll see you later.” Dean was out the door in the next moment. He had no plan of action, nothing other than trying to see Castiel and talk to him. 

With the early hour, Dean was sure Castiel was not yet at his office, so his first plan of action was to drive by the house he had gone to that first time to deliver the trench coat. He told himself that if Balthazar’s car was in the driveway he would make his way to the office Castiel worked at. There was no way he could park the car near enough to see when Balthazar left and not have the man see and recognize the Impala. When he arrived at the house and saw the empty driveway he pulled to a stop in front of the mailbox once again. There was still the garage, Balthazar could have pulled in there the night before and may not have left yet. The house was too quiet looking to give anything away, but Dean’s hands were itching and he needed to do something.

Slowly he climbed out of the car, wondering if the Impala had made enough noise to alert anybody at home that he was there. His walk to the door took a lot longer than that first visit, Dean a lot more unsure this time around. But finally he reach the doorstep and he lifted a hand and gave three hard knocks. He would never admit how his hands trembled at his sides as he waited for someone to answer. Three more knocks two long minutes later before he took a step back to try and look through the windows of the house. There was nothing. Dean moved quickly back to his car and climbed in. Apparently it wasn’t too early for the two men to have started their day already.

When Dean arrived at the offices where Collins and Associates were located, there was a slow but steady bustle of activity. He pulled into the parking garage and for the first time since he had begun using the place he parked on the first floor and jogged out of the building and across the street. Inside the building he consulted a directory and made his way up to the floor where the accounting firm was located, but when he got there he was stopped by a secretary just sitting down at the front desk.

“Easy there, buddy.” She held up a hand to stop him fron entering the main office. “What are you here for?” Dean gave another look through the glass door but only saw cubical walls, before he turned and stepped close enough to cross his arms on the top of the desk.

“I’m looking for Castiel Novak.” He tried to give her an easy smile but he was too keyed up to manage much more than a shaky one.

“He’s not here yet.” She said simply before taking a sip of her coffee and starting up her computer.

“You sure?” He leaned closer as if he could see her computer screen and it could give him answers.

“Look, I just did a sweep of the offices getting all the damn computers on for the day. Castiel was not at his. He isn’t here yet.” She glared at him and Dean took a step back with his hands held in surrender.

“Yeah, ok.” Dean bit his bottom lip and looked around the lobby area, seeing a row of chairs. “Ok,” He leaned back to see the small nameplate on the edge of the desk. “Ok, Meg, I am going to just have a seat over here and wait for him to get in.” Slowly he backed up, eyes fixed on the way she squinted at and watched him. He had just sat down when she spoke up again.

“Who are you?”

“Dean Winchester.” He tried the smile again, this time it came out a little easier.

“No.” She shook her head. “I mean, who are you to Castiel?”

“A friend.” Dean frowned.

“Castiel doesn’t have friends.” She leaned back in her chair with a sigh.

“Well he does now.” Dean crossed his arms over his chest. Meg pursed her lips.

“I could get Ruby out here.” Meg said slowly. “She’s the closest thing he has to a friend. Whatever you want to talk to him about she could probably answer for you.” Dean had already jumped from his seat and made his way back to the desk.

“Ruby Cortese works here?” Meg nodded.

“You know her, too?”

“Unfortunitelly.” He clenched his jaw and reached out a hand to stop whatever Meg was going to do by reaching for her phone. “No! Don’t call that bitch out here. Dammit.” Dean slapped his open palm on the desk and Meg jumped. “Sorry. But no, I want to talk to Cas, not her.”

“Cas?” Meg shot a look at the glass door leading to the offices. “How exactly do you know, Castiel?”

“I’m his mechanic.” It was the best line he had. “And a friend that’s worried about him.” Meg stared at him for a long moment before she seemed to make up her mind.

“Have a seat then. Castiel should be here in about twenty minutes. He takes the bus into work most days.”

“Thank you Meg.”

“Don’t thank me until Castiel gets here and doesn’t yell at me for letting his stalker wait for him.” She frowned into her coffee mug.

“Not a stalker. A friend.”

“So you say.”

They sat in silence, Dean tapping a foot up and down, Meg tapping away at the keys on her computer, as they waited. Other people came into the office and breezed right by Meg, men and women who obviously worked there. At one point a group of ten came in, all talking to one another as they moved through the lobby and past the glass door. When the last one had gone and the door clicked shut once more, Meg jumped up from her seat with a frown.

“He should have been with them.”

“What?” Dean looked through the door.

“Castiel should have been with them. They all come in on the same bus.” She shook her head. “He never takes a day off, even-” She cut herself off and looked at Dean. “Go downstairs, now. I will meet you down there in five.”

“Why?”

“Because now I am worried. We can go to his house and check on him.”

“I have already been by there, no one answered.”

“You went by there?” She was tugging the strap of her purse over her shoulder. “Something is really wrong. Go.”

“Why don’t I go with you?”

“Because I am going to call Ruby to come cover the front desk and if you don’t want to see her you had better not be here. Now go. I’ll be down in five.” Dean didn’t have many other options so he left the way he had come. After all, Meg seemed just as worried as he was about Castiel.

When she finally stepped out of the elevator and made her way to him he had the keys to the Impala already in hand.

“How do you know where Castiel lives?” He asked as they walked out of the building together.

“I drove him home once when he worked late.” She shook her head. “Ruby was out sick and he was scared as a leaf about letting me drive, but he had just missed the bus and waiting for the next one would have been worse for him.” Meg hesitated for only a second as he led her toward the parking garage, and Dean figured she had been planning on driving her own car, but she was back by his side a moment later.

“What do you know about his boyfriend?”

“Balt?” Meg sneered. “Well, Castiel used to sing his praises, wouldn’t shut up about him back when they first started dating three years ago. I had just started working here and was looking to make a friend. We talked a little in the break room. He was shy even back then.” She shook her head and Dean opened the passanger door for her. “It was cute back then. Now it’s just worrisome.” She climbed in and he closed the door before quickly circling the car, his heart still clenching at the sight of the long scratch.

“You make it sound like everything changed.” He started the car and backed out of the space.

“It did, slowly. He would stutter through his praise or talking about what they did over the weekend. He stopped joining us at events or after work drinks. Then suddenly he is hanging around Ruby who he had never been interested in before. Said that he had a change of heart since Balt kept running into her and talking to her. I thought at first she and Balt were banging behind little Clarence’s back and really being cruel making him hang around with her too.” Dean frowned at the weird nickname but let her continue uninterrupted as he drove through the city back to Castiel’s house.

“But then I realized no way did Balt have the time to cheat. He was too busy controlling Castiel’s every move.” She shook her head. “How do you know Ruby?”

“She dated my brother years ago. Got him into some bad stuff before he finally managed to drop her.”

“Makes sense why her and Balt would get along so well.” Meg’s laugh was completely devoid of humor.

“When did the bruises start?” Dean’s eyes remained on the road but he didn’t miss the way Meg’s head jerked around so she could look at him. The car was silent for a long moment.

“I don’t know.” Her voice was soft. “Maybe a year ago, maybe longer than that, was the first time I saw something. But I can’t be sure.” She stopped speaking and turned to look out her window, watching the houses move past as Dean pushed the speed limit laws. He left her to her thoughts, trying not to let his own get too much of a hold on him. Finally he came to a stop at Castiel’s house.

“Balt’s not here.” Meg said firmly before climbing out of the car. Dean hurried to follow.

“How can you be sure.”

“His car isn’t here.” She pointed at the empty driveway as she approached the front door.

“Could be in the garage.”

“Nope. Castiel’s car is in there.”

“Cas has a car? But he doesn’t drive.”

“Because Balt doesn’t let him.” She shot a glare at him before turning to bang repeatedly on the door. They waited. She banged on it again. They waited some more. “Dammit.” Meg started looking around the front entryway, leaning over to look in the flower bed that had once probably been beautiful.

“What are you looking for?” He watched as she leaned over for a moment, digging around under a small statue of a bumblebee. 

“Ah-ha!” She held up a key. Dean was a little more hesitant to go entering someone’s house uninvited, but Meg already had the door unlocked and was slowly swinging it open. “Castiel!” She called into the dim interior. Turning slightly she waved Dean in behind her and he quickly stepped in to close the door behind them. 

Slowly they made their way through the house, searching each room one by one for any signs of Castiel. Meg called out periodically, but Dean kept his mouth shut, unsure if the other man would be anything but upset to see Dean in his home. Meg was a few steps ahead of Dean when she pushed into one of the three rooms. One had been a small study and the other seemed to be a spare room, so Dean was assuming they were about to step into the master.

“Oh Clarence, what has he done to you.” The way Meg’s voice trembled had Dean’s blood running cold. Quickly he stepped into the room and moved around her to see what she was looking at.

“Cas.” Dean breathed.

Castiel was laying in bed, the blankets loosely pulled around and on him, as if he couldn’t decide if he was cold or hot. With all the bruises and cuts that littered the skin that Dean could see, the mechanic thought it was probably more of a debate on what parts of him could tolerate the weight of the material. His face seemed to have taken the least damage, less that would have to be covered up or waited on to heal. There was that same bruise Dean had seen when he ran into Castiel in the park, but this one was bigger, fresher. The opposite eye was black and slightly swollen. His lip was busted. 

Slowly, Castiel’s good eye slid open and he took in the sight of Meg, Dean standing just outside of his vision. He let out a small sigh and frowned.

“I meant to call in. You shouldn’t have come.” His voice was weak, scratchy.

“He needs a hospital.” Meg stepped closer to Castiel but her voice was directed at Dean. With a wince Castiel turned his head slightly until he saw the other man. He let out a whimpered groan and squeezed his eyes hut.

“He shouldn’t be here. Please. Both of you need to leave. I’ll be fine.” Castiel slowly tried to get out of the bed, as if to prove his words. He barely got the covers off of him before he let out a pained hiss.

“No. Sorry, buddy, but that’s not happening. You have to go to the hospital.” Dean stepped in to ease Castiel back down on the bed. He looked down at the man. “How bad is it?” Castiel looked up at him for only a second before his gaze dropped. “Can you walk?” Castiel pursed his lips and shook his head. “Are you dressed under there?” Another shake of the head. “Shit.”

“Go out and start the car, I’ll get him dressed. Then you can carry him out and I’ll drive.” Dean groaned. No one drove the Impala. With a sigh he nodded and left the room to do as he was told. Ten minutes later and he was maneuvering Castiel into the back seat of the Impala and easing his way in with him to lay the other man’s head on his lap. The trip from the bedroom to the car had been full of winces, small cries, and tears as Castiel had fisted his left hand in Dean’s shirt, his right one cradled to his chest.

“Hang on, Cas. We’re gonna get you help.” Dean ran a hand through the other man’s sweat soaked hair. “I got you.” He watched as Castiel’s eyes slipped shut once more. “It’s going to be ok.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings** : Semi-graphic recounting of physical abuse and the resulting injuries. Mentions of sexual abuse/rape.

When he first woke up, Castiel was disoriented. For long moments he lay very still, trying to piece together the events that had led to wherever he was currently laying. Slowly he looked around the room, everything on one side a hazy blur making him realize that his eye was still swollen. He heard talking outside his door, recognized Dean’s voice, and remembered that the mechanic had shown up at his house and taken him to the hospital. Castiel let out a small moan as he shifted on the bed a fraction of an inch before the pain caused him to gasp out. Suddenly a nurse was at his side.

“Hi. You’re awake. That’s good.” She smiled down at him and reached to check the machines he was apparently hooked up to monitoring his vitals and feeding him an IV drip. “I just need you to stay still. Do you want me to get your boyfriend?” Her question was so sweet and yet she dropped it in an instant for concern as panic set in for the man in the hospital bed. The beeping of the machine picked up as his heart began racing at the thought of his boyfriend, there, seeing Dean. He tried to pull away and she frantically tried to still him without her hands landing on the more tender spots of his body.

“Hey, what’s going on? What’s wrong?” Dean rushed into the room, quickly pulling the nurse away from Castiel to take her place. “Hey, hey, you gotta calm down. Cas, you’re going to hurt yourself more.” Dean’s hands went to his shoulders, trying to steady him, and Castiel let out a small wince as the pressure shifted to his collarbone. “What happened?” Dean looked over his shoulder at the nurse as Castiel sank into the bed, too exhausted to keep fighting.

“I-I-I just asked him if he wanted me to get you.” The nurse took another scared step back. Dean turned back to look at Castiel.

“Balt-thazar.” Castiel croaked out around his dry throat.

“Oh hey, no.” Dean moved one of his hands to sooth through Castiel’s hair. “No, Balthazar is not here. As far as I know he doesn’t even know _you’re_ here.” Dean tried to offer a small smile as reassurance, but Castiel could just make out the worry still there.

“I’m sorry, I thought.” The nurse looked back and forth between them. “I referred to you as his boyfriend.” Her voice was hushed and Castiel could just make out a light blush dusting her cheeks.

“No.” Dean shook his head and stood straighter. “His boyfriend did this to him, so if you see the asshole, yay high, well dressed, blond, British accent, you call security.” Dean was talking to the nurse, but at the feel of Castiel’s fingers on his wrist his attention was quickly back on the man. “What do you need?” His concern was so thick, Castiel had to close his eyes to get the words out.

“You can’t-” His voice cracked and the nurse was at his side with a small cup of water and a straw. Castiel drank down half the liquid as the nurse spoke.

“He was severely dehydrated, that’s what the drip was for.”

“What about his other injuries?” Dean asked, eyes scanning the man in the bed, but most of his body was covered by a thin hospital sheet.

“I’m sorry, I can’t tell you that. If you ask the doctor he may, but since you are not the significant other.” Dean held up a hand to stop her.

“Yeah, I get it. I’ll figure it out.”

“I’ll get the doctor.” She looked at Dean after setting the cup back down, biting her lip as if she was debating on speaking again. Dean raised his eyebrows, daring her to say anything he might not like. With a little shuffle, she left the room without saying a word.

“Dean.” Castiel spoke quietly, but Dean was focused on him once more as soon as his name left the other’s lips. “You can’t be here.”

“Like hell I can’t. I’m not leaving you, Cas.” Dean took Castiel’s left hand in his own and frowned when the other man pulled it back away.

“I’ll be fine, Dean. And he won’t do this again, not if you stay away.”

“This is my fault?”

“He thought there was something more between us. He just gets jealous sometimes, Dean. He’s been burned in the past.”

“So what, you not going to talk to any men, ever, because it might hurt his feelings and cause him to wail on you? No, that’s no way to live, Cas. And Meg says this isn’t the first time. God, Cas, you don’t deserve this.”

“How would you know what I deserve, Dean? You don’t know me.” Castiel clenched his jaw, trying to hold back the tears, but a few slipped through. Dean reached up a gentle hand to wipe them away, mindful of the cuts and bruises.

“Ok, first, no one deserves to be beaten up by someone they love. And two, I know enough to know that you are too good for that dick.” Castiel shook his head but didn’t say anything.

“I’m sorry, but the doctor wants him to get some more sleep.” The nurse had reappeared. Dean was forced to move so she could insert a needle into the juncture of his IV.

“I’ll be here when you wake up, ok?” Dean stood at the foot of the bed. Castiel gave a weak nod. “I won’t let him anywhere near you, Cas.” Slowly Castiel’s eyes closed and he was sure it was mostly due to exhaustion, not sure if the drug the nurse was pushing into his system had had enough time to actually affect him.

When he awoke it was to hushed but angry voices at the doorway to his room. One he barely recognized as Dean’s but the other two, one man and one woman, he didn’t know.

“Dean, you need to calm down, you’re no good to the guy all riled up like you are.”

“Goddamnit, Jody, this is as calm as I am getting until you let me in the loop. From what I can tell he has no one else, so that makes me all he’s got. Please.” Dean’s voice shifted from angry to desperate. “Just let me do this. Keep me in on this. I’ll be a model citizen while we sort through this.”

“That’ll be the day.” Jody, whomever that was, remained silent for a moment and Castiel suspected she was considering Dean’s request. “Fine. Anybody asks, Mr. Novak asked that you be in his corner on this.”

“Well, he didn’t kick me out while he was awake earlier, so I am taking that as consenting to my presence.” Castiel could almost hear the shrug in the man’s voice.

“Ok, Doctor, fill us in.”

“The damage is just as bad as it looks.” Suddenly Castiel realized that whomever Jody was, she was going to find out all about what Balthazar had done. She was either a lawyer or a police officer. 

“The majority of Mr. Novak’s injuries are rather deep but non-severe bruises, some of them with small cuts in the middle where the skin broke under the pressure. I would be willing to bet the attacker wore a ring.” _A ring Castiel had given Balthazar the year before; it had a thick band that stung upon impact but didn’t always leave a mark._

“His right eye is swollen nearly shut, but there should be no lasting damage to the eye.” _Balthazar had accused him of checking Dean out, eyeing his body with lust._

“He has a busted lip, but none of the teeth have been loosened, so it’s not too worrisome.” _He had spoken to Dean too long when they had been in the liquor store for it to be innocent._

“There is a hairline fracture spanning two ribs on his right side.” _Right over his cold, unfeeling heart, the way he flirted with others hurt Balthazar in that spot._

“There are also several small fractures in the bones of his right hand.” _He had let himself step too close to Dean, his hand had brushed Dean’s, and Balthazar had seen it._

“There are ligature marks on his wrists were I believe they were either tied together or down.” _The only reason Balthazar had left the ropes off Monday morning was so he could call into work.”_

“There was also… some tearing.” The doctor’s voice was hesitant and Castiel believe he would be dead of mortification before Dean had a chance to come back into the room. “As well as a small infection that had resulted from leaving the abrasions unattended.” _Forced sex hadn’t been new to Castiel. Not enough prep hadn’t been new to Castiel. But this had been a new level of cruelty and pain for Castiel._

“He was also severely dehydrated and weak from hunger.” _Balthazar had driven home Saturday angry, had led Castiel into the house angry, had walked right into the bedroom and ordered Castiel to strip in anger. On Sunday when he had left for two hours for lunch with friends, he had left Castiel tied to the bed. When he had untied Castiel Monday morning, he had so graciously said the man could make himself breakfast, but Castiel had been unable to get out of the bed from the pain._

“I met Balthazar Saturday night. I’m the reason he did this to Cas.” Dean’s voice was weak after hearing all the doctor had to say. “He must have been… rough… with him from that point on.”

“Well then it’s a good thing you brought him in when you did.” The doctor offered, but Castiel was doubtful it was meant to comfort.

“When can he be released?” Dean asked, a little more sure, although Castiel couldn’t understand why. He had nowhere to go but back to Balthazar, and he would be livid when he found out about the hospital stay, about Dean.

“He needs to get back what his body was missing, so at least tonight. I would like to keep him through tomorrow as well, make sure we get rid of the infection, but we hit him with a rather heavy dose of antibiotics so as long as he keeps taking any prescription we give him he should be fine. He can leave as early as tomorrow afternoon, but I would feel better if we pushed it to Wednesday morning.” Wednesday? Balthazar would go crazy not having Castiel for two nights! He would come to the hospital for him! He would see Dean!

“Thank you, Doctor.” The woman, Jody, said and Castiel had the distinct impression the doctor was being dismissed. There was silence then and Castiel eased his eyes open, gently moving his head until he could see the slightly open door. Dean was standing in the gap, as if unwilling to actually leave the room Castiel was in. Sure enough, a moment later Dean turned his head to look over his shoulder and saw Castiel looking at him. Castiel watched as Dean’s features seemed to relax, a very small smile appearing, and he turned fully to enter the room and make his way to Castiel’s side.

“Hey, you’re awake.” Remembering his scratchy voice the last time he woke up, Castiel only nodded. Dean seemed to quickly take the hint and grabbed up a cup of water, directing the straw to Castiel’s mouth. After a few swallows, Castiel sank back into the pillows.

“Thank you.” He gave Dean a weak smile. Before either man could say anything more there was a nurse hovering over him, once more checking vitals. “Please, don’t put me back to sleep.” She gave him a sweet smile.

“Oh no, you are good now. But this here is connected to a drip with painkillers. Just press this button if you need more.”

“I’ll be fine.” Castiel shook his head and lay the small tube ending in a button on the bed.

“Well, it’s there if you need it.” She fussed with him a little more before finally leaving. Dean stepped back to the bed and Castiel realized he kept returning to that one side because his other hand had a cast covering to just above his wrist. He stood on the side that allowed him to hold Castiel’s hand. Castiel felt his stomach do a flip at the realization and the touch of the other man’s hand on his.

“Mr. Novak.” A woman in uniform took a step closer to the foot of the bed, getting both men’s attention. “I’m sorry I have to do this now, but I need to ask you a few questions about what happened.” 

Castiel suddenly felt sick. Quickly he shook his head and tried to push himself further up in the bed.

“No. No, I don’t want to answer questions. I am not pressing charges.”

“You can’t be serious Cas. The asshole could have killed you.”

“It's just some cuts and a few cracks, Dean. I’ll be fine.” Castiel pulled his hand from Dean’s, using it instead to cradle his casted one in his lap.

“Are you serious right now, Cas?” Dean’s voice had begun to raise and Castiel couldn’t stop the reflexive cringe away from the man. “Dammit.” Dean hissed and made a slow circle with a few steps. He took a few deep breathes before stopping once more facing Castiel and placing his hands on the railing of the bed. “I’m sorry.” Dean stood very still and slowly Castiel looked up. Once they had made eye contact Dean held it for a minute before slowly reaching out for Castiel’s hand once more. “Why won’t you file charges?” His voice was so soft, Castiel was too stunned to speak for a moment. It gave Jody a chance to talk.

“Look Mr. Novak if you don’t press charges, he’s going to get away with it. And then he’s going to do it again. And one of these times he is going to kill you. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not this year. You may be lucky and it’ll be soon. Or you could be forced to endure more long years of pain, fear, humiliation, nightmares. Years of more hospital visits and covering it all up. Until he finally goes too far. That’s no way to live.” Her voice was filled with concern, and Castiel couldn’t tell if she was really worried about him personally, or if she had just done this enough times to know how to fake it really well.

“I have nowhere to go. No one but Balthazar.” Castiel pleaded, not taking his eyes off of the Sheriff, or at least the badge she wore denoting her rank.

“You have me.” Dean’s voice was firm. “You can stay with me until you get better.”

“You barely know me, Dean.” Castiel shook his head, closing his eyes.

“Not for lack of trying. And something tells me that it’s mostly due to him not wanting you to make friends.” Dean leaned in, using a finger to turn Castiel’s face to him. “Hey.” He waited until Castiel opened his eyes and looked at him. “I’d really like to get to know you. Let me help you.” They stared at one another for a long moment before the Sheriff cleared her throat.

“It started Saturday night, when we got home. We had spent most of the day inside when Balthazar realized that we didn’t have any vodka or tomato juice and he wanted Bloody Marys.” Castiel was sure they didn’t want to know the back story, but he couldn’t stop the full explanation, his voice trembling, and they didn’t stop him. “We ran into Dean there. Balt remembered how he had brought my coat back one night the month before. Back when that happened he had insisted that I must have left it at Dean’s house, that I was having an affair. I had tried to explain that Dean worked at the mechanic shop that I had taken the car to. But he was still mad about that incident, too, so when Dean showed up at our house nothing I said was going to make it better.” Dean let out a small groan.

“I caused a lot of trouble for you didn’t I?” Dean rubbed at his forehead before running a hand through his hair. “I’m real sorry, Cas.”

“You couldn’t have known.” Castiel shook his head and swallowed hard.

“So seeing Dean at the liquor store got him mad again?” Jody asked and Castiel jerked his gaze back to her, taking in the notepad she was writing in.

“Yeah. Dean and I spoke for only a minute but Balt came up with all kinds of crazy possibilities about what we could have said to one another. By the time we got home he had worked himself up into a frenzy.” Castiel closed his eyes but suddenly all he could see was Balthazar towering over him, ready to land another blow. His eyes flew open and he looked to Dean to steady him.

“Hey, I’m right here. It’s ok. He’s not going to hurt you anymore, ok?”

Castiel took a shaky breath. “At first it was the usual hits, ones to remind me basically that he could do that sort of thing. But then he got riled up about Dean.” He shook his head, not wanting to repeat the things Balthazar had said, not wanting to make Dean feel more guilty. “That was when the wrist and rib fractures occurred. I thought that would be the end of it. He went to go have a drink.” He let out a sad chuckle. “He didn’t feel like Bloody Marys after all. Instead he drank the vodka straight. Before long he was mildly drunk and…” His voice dropped off. Biting his lip he looked at Dean. “Can you-”

“Yeah.” Dean croaked out. “Yeah, I’ll.” He pointed at the door.

“Why don’t you get us a couple coffee’s Dean.” Jody offered. Castiel wondered just how close Dean and the Sheriff were. The man nodded and quickly made his way out of the room, being sure to close the door firmly behind him.

“You take you’re time with this part, Mr. Novak.” Jody offered in that kind, motherly voice of hers.

“Please call me Castiel.” He managed to say. His throat was dry again and just as he reached his right hand over his body he realized he couldn’t hold the cup of water.

“Here.” Jody quickly stepped around the bed and held the cup for Castiel to drink from.

“Thank you.” Settling back into the pillows, he swallowed once more around the lump in his throat. “By that time he was suddenly in the mood for sex. I didn’t tell him no, so I don’t think it counts as rape.”

“Had you told him no in the past and he ignored you?” He gave a jerky nod. “And you didn’t say no this time because you knew he wouldn’t listen?” Another tentative nod. “That coupled with the damage done, it was rape.” Her voice was firm and he tried to take strength from her assured tone. 

“He-he, uh, tied me down, to the bed. D-Do you really need… details?” He was shaking now.

“Not right now. But later, yes, for the charges. I am sorry you have to live through it all again, but it needs to be said exactly what he did to you.” He nodded weakly.

“After, he fell asleep. I was still tied down but there was nothing I could do about it. He woke up Sunday morning and untied me long enough to get me into a shower with him where he forced me to give him oral.” Castiel shook his head. “I thought I was going to drown.” He gave a dry chuckle at the absurdity of a fear that had been legitimate at the time. “He took me back to the bed, gave me a small glass of water and a sandwich. Then he tied me back down. W-we had sex twice more. He hit me a few more times but nothing as bad as that first time. When he left Monday morning, for work, he untied me so that I could call into work and make myself something to eat. But I couldn’t walk, it hurt too much. That was how Dean and Meg found me.” Castiel frowned. “Where is Meg?”

“Miss Masters went back to work to keep from rousing suspicion. She works with someone they believe is helping Mr. Roche keep tabs on you?” Jody was still writing in the notepad, looking up long enough to catch Castiel’s nod of affirmation. 

“Ruby Cortese. Her and Balt are friends. She drives me home on the rare occasion I am allowed to go have drinks with my co-workers. She stops by my cubicle a lot during work hours. She keeps note of when I get to work and how long my lunch breaks take. She used to eat with me, shadow me everywhere, but she complained to Balthazar about having to babysit me. And by then I knew better than to cause problems anyway.”

“But you’ve been talking to Dean?” Jody looked up and Castiel’s eyes grew wide at the accusation, shaking his head and opening his mouth to protest. “Hey, hey, no. I got nothing against you talking to the man. In fact it turned out to be for the good since he’s helping you to get out of this situation. I’m just trying to get all the facts.”

“There’s nothing between Dean and I. I don’t even understand why he is helping me.”

“Want the truth?” Jody asked. Castiel gave her a small nod and she gave a small smile in return. “The boy has a heart too big for his own good. He’s an older brother through and through and likes protecting and saving everyone he comes across.” Her eyes darted to the door of the room before returning to the man in the bed. “Plus, I think he has a little crush on you.” She laughed as Castiel felt the blush creep up his cheeks.

“Oh no. He doesn’t like me. Not like that. He’s just being nice.” Castiel shook his head and smoothed his hands over the sheet covering his lower half.

“Ok. So you two have just talked?”

“Yes. He returned my coat and gave me his business card in case I needed anything done for the car. It’s not my car, so I didn’t think I would need it, but I kept it anyway.” He watched that small smile reappear as she continued to write. “But then Balt went out of town for a few days so I had the car. I decided to use my lunch break to help a personal client. Got a flat tire and didn’t have a spare. Dean helped me out. But Balt never noticed. I was lucky enough that Ruby had been out sick that day. He didn’t notice the visit to the mechanic, but he still hit me when he got home, upset that for a whole day he didn’t know my whereabouts with Ruby unable to keep an eye on me. The next time I saw Dean was the same thing. We talked on the walk back to my office but that was all. I have never done anything to upset Balt.” 

“Yet he still hits you?” He gave a small nod. “How long has this been going on?” Just as she asked the question, Dean stepped quietly back into the room. Castiel’s eyes fell to the bed, ashamed of the answer.

“I have been dating him for three years. The abuse started about six months in.”

“Jesus.” Dean whispered, causing Castiel to flinch. Slowly, although Castiel could tell he was holding himself back from doing it all quickly, Dean held out a coffee to Jody before placing his on the table next to the cup of water. As soon as both hands were empty he pulled a chair close to the bed, sat down, and reached out to take Castiel’s uninjured hand in both of his.

“It’s not this bad. Usually just a slap or rough push when something I do upsets him. He’s rougher than preferable in bed. Only once has it been this bad.”

“When was that?”

“A little over a year ago. We had been living at the house for only a few months, I hadn’t fully adjusted to the bus schedule and I worked late. Meg drove me home. Balt insisted I was sleeping with her.”

“Did he have any cause for that concern?”

“Jody!” Dean’s voice startled Castiel.

“I have to ask, Dean. He presses charges Balt’s lawayers are going to be asking the same types of things and not so nice.”

“It’s ok, Dean.” Castiel offered softly and Dean let out a long sigh. “No. I am gay. I don’t feel any sort of attraction to Meg. She was once a friend, when I first moved here, but Balt made sure to put a stop to that when he realized she had attitude.” Castiel looked down at his lap. “Maybe if I hadn’t allowed him to take her away I wouldn’t be in this situation.”

“Hey. None of this is your fault, ok, buddy?” Dean leaned forward. “And you’re making the steps toward stopping it now, right?” Castiel tried for a smile but it was weak at best.

“Do you have any family you can turn to?” Jody asked.

“I have two siblings, Gabriel and Anna, but they don’t live around here and I haven’t talked to them in years. They were worried about me, thought Balt was doing exactly what he was doing. So he told me to stop talking to them, said some things to them that made them stop talking to me.”

“We’ll find them, get a hold of them.” Dean said with finality and that did make Castiel smile.

“Ok, so you are pressing charges, correct?” Jody asked as she closed the notepad and began to tuck it back in a pocket.

“Yes.” Castiel’s voice was small and shaky.

“Ok. First you are going to get better. I am telling security exactly who not to let in this room. When you go home…” She stopped and looked at Dean pointedly.

“He’s going home with me.” Dean said firmly and before Castiel could respond Jody was talking once more.

“Good. When you get home you take a few days to heal. As soon as you are well enough you are going to go to the court house and file a restraining order. They should grant you a temporary one and a court date for a permanent one. Go to the court date, plead your case, get a piece of paper that says the bastard has to stay away from you. In the mean time, figure out a time when Mr. Roche is not home to have Dean take you by your house for your stuff. If he comes near you again, you call me.” She held out a card and Dean took it to hold for him.

“What will happen to Balt?” Castiel was proud of the only mild shake in his words.

“As soon as I leave here I am going to go arrest him on assault charges. It may take him a while to get through the system, small town and all, so he won’t be able to post bail until tomorrow. If he posts it.”

“He will.” Castiel offered and she nodded.

“We’ll be keeping an eye on him as best we can. He’ll be notified of the restraining order. If he violates it, he’ll be arrested again.”

“He’ll find me.” Castiel whispered, slowly feeling a numbing fear creeping through him.

“I’ll make sure he doesn’t. I got plenty of places to hide you, ok?” Dean offered. Castiel realized that the contact he had with Dean was sending a small bit of heat into the numbness expanding out from his hand.

“We’ll keep you safe.” Jody reiterated. 

“Thank you.” Castiel whispered. The Sheriff gave a small nod.

“I’ll talk to you later, Dean.”

“Thanks Jody.” Dean lifted a hand to wave but remained seated. When she left, Jody closed the door behind her, leaving the two men alone.

“Why are you doing this, Dean?” Castiel asked, unable to look the other man in the eye.

“Because no one deserves this. And I want to consider you a friend, Cas.”

“I don’t do well with making friends.”

“Meg says otherwise. She said you were pretty cool before the douche bag stepped in.”

“He wasn’t bad in the beginning.” Castiel said, sinking further into the pillows and closing his eyes. “I had just moved to town, new job, new home. I ran into him. Literally.” Castiel’s lips lifted in a small smile as he remembered the first time he had met Balthazar. “I used to run every morning. It gave me a chance to see the area and get things off my mind. I wasn’t paying attention, looking at some flowers and thinking about how many bees they would get and thinking of getting my own hives. He was walking to his car. I plowed right into him. He said to properly apologize we had to have tea.”

“How British.” Dean mumbled. Castiel’s smile turned sad as he opened his eyes.

“I thought so too, yes.” He took a breath. “Anyway, he was charming, and sweet, and so welcoming. Showing me a few good spots turned into dates at new places filled with laughs. That turned into nights at his place, always his place, and long mornings where I was nearly late for work. We moved fast, both Gabe and Anna thought so and voiced it often, but then I was in love and didn’t care. They had always been on my case about something or other. So I moved in with him.” Castiel shrugged. “I didn’t even realize anything was wrong until I was too far deep in it and couldn’t find my way out.” He bit his lip. “Even now I don’t know what I am going to do without him. He’s become my world.” His words faded into a whisper and Dean let the silence hang for a good long while as Castiel got lost in his own thoughts. 

The silence was comfortable for the first time in so long Castiel found himself starting to fall asleep when the nurse came in.

“I’m sorry but visiting hours are over.” She hovered near the door, almost unsure about disturbing the peace in the room.

“Shit. Didn’t realize it had gotten so late.” Dean looked down at his watch. “It’s nine.” He stood and squeezed Castiel’s hand in his own.

“I’ll be back tomorrow.”

“Dean, you really don’t have to. You have a business to run.”

“It’s a garage, place practically runs itself. Plus Charlie and Benny liked the look of you, took an interest, they got me covered as long as you need me.”

“I don’t want to be an inconvenience.”

“You’re not. I’ll see you tomorrow. And security is making rounds. And he’s probably still in lock-up anyway. You’ll be safe.”

“Thank you for everything, Dean.” Castiel gave him a small smile.

“Night, Cas.”

“Goodnight, Dean.” Castiel watched the other man leave and as soon as the door closed behind him, the nurse took a step forward with a wide grin.

“He’s a cute one.” Castiel let out a huffed laugh and then winced from the strain on his ribs. “Remember if the pain is too much, you just push that little button.”

“Thank you, but I will be fine.”

“A tough one. Y’all make quiet the pair, he was all tough and macho until they took you out of his arms, nearly crumbled like a baby in the waiting room with that girl.”

“What?” Castiel looked at her with a frown.

“Yeah, he was practically shaking until we told him you were fine, that you were simply weak from dehydration and a touch of malnourishment. He thought he was going to loose you there for a minute.”

“Dean doesn’t have me to loose.”

“Well, someone aught to tell him that.” She advised before checking his vitals. “Ok, I am going to bring in a dinner for you to eat. Try to get some of it down and then you need to rest.”

Castiel gave a weak nod, his mind still floating over Dean and how much the man seemed to care about him, a near stranger. Jody was probably right. The mechanic probably just had a savior complex and Castiel was his new damsel in distress. With that explanation pacifying him, Castiel ate a third of the food he was given, still not feeling up to eating while his stomach was uneasy from the pain. Finally allowing himself one push of the button, he shifted until he was as comfortable as he was sure he was going to get and waited until the soothing effects of the medicine seeped into his system. It wasn’t long until he was asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings** : Mentions of child abuse.

Castiel tried preparing himself for disappointment, a defense mechanism he had developed over the years. Too many times he had gotten his hopes up just to have them dashed on the rocks. So as he lay in bed he tried to think of his reaction for when Dean didn’t show up for the day. He just knew that somewhere during the night or early morning, Dean Winchester would have realized that Castiel was a wasted cause. Castiel would be left to deal with the fall out of Dean’s interference on his own. Perhaps that beating that went too far that Jody had warned him of the day before, would happen sooner rather than later. 

By the time he had reached this conclusion the nurse was back in the room, alarmed by his elevated heart rate she was monitoring from the nurses station, and offered to give him something to help calm him down. It was a different one from the night before, and he assumed they had switched shifts at some point. He had shaken his head and tried to reign in his anxiety to a more manageable level, focusing on her instead. She was a large, black lady with kind eyes that she leveled on him with all the power of a favorite aunt. Finally she had given him a small, and Castiel thought somewhat pitying, smile and left him alone with the promise of bringing breakfast in soon.

After that, having convinced himself Dean would not show, every set of footsteps in the hallway no longer brought hope but nearly paralyzing fear. Every person approaching the room could be Balthazar. Despite Jody and Dean’s reassurances, Castiel knew the hospital security could not stand guard outside his one door to prevent a man who should be in lock up from possibly showing his face to finish the job he had started. And Castiel was certain Balthazar could post bail and would do so at the soonest possible moment so that he could make his way to the hospital to show Castiel just who he belonged to.

The nurse had arrived with a tray of food and threatened to slip meds into his orange juice if he didn’t calm down. Castiel missed the nurse from the day before that had left him alone except for vital checks. He convinced this one that the mild panic attacks were from the pain, being a bit overwhelming. Hand on her hip, frown firmly in place, the nurse had remained staring down at him until he had pushed the button for the painkillers once. Seemingly satisfied she had nodded once and left him to eat at his own pace. 

Castiel didn’t feel like eating. Instead he pushed his tray a little further down the bed and curled into a ball on his side. Unfortunately thanks to the cracked ribs he was forced to face the door, cradling his injured hand to his chest, and unable to hide from Balthazar whenever he decided to pay his boyfriend a visit.

One set of steps grew too close. They stopped outside his door, which was fully closed and offered no hint of who stood outside. Of course, Castiel knew who it was. Ten o’clock had given Balthazar plenty of time to post bail, figure out where Castiel was, and make his way to the hospital.

Castiel squeezed his eyes shut and felt his body tremble as he heard the slow turn of the handle and the muffled sound of people speaking just beyond the door. As it eased inward the voices stopped, as if trying not to disturb him if he was asleep, and there was a feint shuffling of feet. He could stop the small whimper that escaped him when the visitor stopped beside his bed.

“Hey.” A hand came down on his shoulder and Castiel was wound too tight, was too frightened of who it could be, that he jumped and let out a terrified cry before he could see who it was. The movement caused the hand to hit his shoulder which knocked him back as he had jerked his body slightly up off the bed. His hand, in it’s small but heavy cast, hit the railing on the opposite side of the bed and he let out another cry and squeezed his eyes shut at the pain. Tears had blurred his vision just before he shut his eyes, but he was sure he had seen not blond hair and a slight frame but darker spiked locks and broader shoulders. Still, he couldn’t stop the sobs that were now wracking his body.

“Hey.” The voice was softer, trying to sooth him, and through his hitched breathes, pounding heart, and small whimpers, he was almost sure it was Dean. Slowly he opened his eyes to look up at the man now pointedly holding his hands in the air next to his own shoulders. “I’m not gonna touch you again, ok. I’m sorry for that.” Worry furrowed Dean’s brow.

“Y-you came b-back.” Castiel pushed through the sobs.

“Yeah, of course I did. I told you I would.” Dean turned long enough to find his chair from the evening before and pull it as close to the bed as it would go, before collapsing into it and shuffling to the edge while looking at Castiel. “I’m sorry I’m late. I had to check in at the garage and double check the paperwork really fast. But then a friend stopped in to have his car looked at, wouldn't let anyone else touch it since it’s government issue.” Dean shrugged. “You don’t want to hear about this.” He shook his head and folded his arms on the edge of the bed and leaned in that fraction of an inch closer. “How are you doing?”

Castiel let out a wet chuckle and swiped at his eyes with his good hand. “Shitty.” He stopped and stared at Dean for a moment before dropping his eyes to the sheet over his lap. “I thought you were Balthazar.” His voice was barely above a whisper but Dean heard just fine.

“I told you, he’s not going to come near you, Cas.” Dean sat up straighter as if he would single-handedly protect Castiel from his boyfriend.

“You can’t promise that, Dean. Not really.” He shook his head again and pushed it into the pillows as he squeezed his eyes shut. “I shouldn’t have filed that report, shouldn’t have filed the charges. Oh god, he is going to be so angry when I get home.”

“Hey, hey, hey. Where is this coming from? We decided last night you’re not going home.” Dean started to reach for Castiel’s hand but withdrew just before touching him. 

“You can’t be serious.” Castiel frowned at him. “No, you know, maybe if I tell the Sheriff to drop the charges and I apologize to Balthazar, it won’t be too bad. I can tell him Meg found me alone and got me here.” His eyes darted to Dean’s. “I won’t mention your name at all. I won’t talk to you again. No, that might work. I need you to leave, Dean.”

“Like hell.” Dean flinched this time as Castiel sat there, firm now.

“No, no, this is ok. I can fix this.”

“Cas, you can’t. He’s just going to go back to hitting you. Even if you do fix it this time, nothing is going to stop him from doing it again.” Dean was getting agitated, but then so was Castiel. Why wouldn’t this man, this near stranger, let him figure his own shit out?

“You don’t get it, Dean!”

“Actually, I kinda fucking do.” Castiel’s voice was rising and Dean’s was also to match it.

“No. You don’t! I love him!”

“And I loved my dad!” Suddenly the door flew open and the nurse was back.

“What in God’s green creation is going on in here.” She huffed as she moved to step in-between a now standing Dean and Castiel’s bed. “Dean Michael Winchester, I know you are not giving this boy any trouble.” She reprimanded, hands in fists on her hips, as she stared down the man towering over her.

“No, ma’am, Miss Mosley.” Dean took deep breathes as he spoke, his eyes darting over her shoulder to land on Castiel for a brief second before turning back to her.

“Good.” She gave a firm nod and turned to look at Castiel. “As long as you boys are behaving yourselves we’ll all be fine.” She eyed the tray of untouched food. “Why don’t you convince him to eat.” She patted a hand on Dean’s chest before stepping away. “And no more arguing. Don’t need the whole floor witnessing your lovers spat.” She was gone from the room before either man could correct her. Castiel staring at the door wide eyed as his cheeks warmed. 

“Look, I’m sorry.” Dean mumbled from his position in the chair once more. Castiel finally looked at him, pleased to see that Dean also had a slight blush that was slowly fading.

“What did you mean about your father?” He waited for an answer as Dean fidgeted with his hands.

“Oh. Well, um.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Uh, my dad used to hit me.” His eyes flicked up to Castiel for only a brief moment. “It’s kinda how I recognized that’s what you were going through so quickly.” His voice was still hushed, his eyes still on his hands, and it gave Castiel a moment to think.

Dean had only met him a few times, had seen very small, easily explainable bruises until the bar. Castiel had been so confused about why Dean would help him, he hadn’t thought too long on how Dean knew.

“When did it stop?” Castiel asked quietly. With Dean’s muscled build he assumed the answer would be whenever Dean got big enough to hit back. But the sinking of the other man’s shoulder as he hunched in on himself in such a personally familiar posture to Castiel, made his heart clench.

“It didn’t. Not really at least.” Dean began chewing on his bottom lip and Castiel wanted to reach out and pull the pour piece of skin out of danger. He held very still.

“You d-don’t have to tell me.” Castiel offered, but Dean quickly shook his head, eyes shut for a moment.

“Um, nah, it’s ok. Um.” He dragged that lip through his teeth once more. “My mom died when I was four. House fire. Dad thought she was out, she thought _he_ was out, who had Sam? So she got caught inside. Didn’t make it. And ya know, Dad did the best he could, tried to take care of two boys on his own. But he was grieving too. The drinking started when I was around six. I mean it was already kinda there, but it got bad then. Sam was two and I was starting to take care of him more and more. And Sam wasn’t an easy kid.” Dean laughed bitterly and rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “Sam hit the terrible twos running. Dad started loosing his temper more and more. And then one day he just hit me.” Dean shrugged. “I think it surprised him more than it did me, actually.” He rubbed his eyes and Castiel wondered if the mechanic’s hands were constantly in motion even when he wasn’t talking about painful memories. “Of course, it just got worse from there on out. But it was always me. He would push Sam, but then turn and hit me. When I turned eighteen I had to stay there to make sure he didn’t hurt Sam, or Sam didn’t hurt Dad. When Sam went off to college I stayed because Dad wasn’t doing so well and I was sure that he needed me before he drank himself to death.” He cleared his throat. “Every so often he would go out drinking, get in bar fights. He got picked up a few times.”

“That’s how you know the Sheriff?” Castiel asked.

“Ah, no, well, sorta. I met her thanks to my own temper, a night in lock up and I was mostly scared straight.” Castiel couldn't stop the light chuckle at Dean’s statement. Dean smiled. “I became familiar with her thanks to Dad.” His smile faded. “He kept wracking up charges. And she kept going easy on him for my sake. Then this FBI guy shows up with charges and shit almost got out of hand. I promised to pull him out of trouble, to keep him clean. It only worked because Victor didn’t have solid evidence against Dad. And to repay my trouble Dad went back to getting drunk and taking it out on me.”

“Why didn’t you leave?” Castiel asked in disbelief. Dean was a large guy, looked like he could take care of himself, seemed to be pretty sure of himself, and have plenty of friends he could turn to. Why had he stayed there and taken it?

“Why didn’t you? The first time it happened and you still might have had an out?” Dean looked at him but didn’t wait for an answer. “He was my dad. I couldn’t leave him like that. Even if he did occasionally thank me for my help with a fist.” Dean shook his head. “But then Victor was there.” He smiled sadly. “First guy I was brave enough to ask out. We dated secretly for a little while, I didn’t want Dad knowing and he didn’t want the Bureau knowing, so it worked out. But then he tried to get me to move out. Not necessarily with him, but he wanted me to get away from Dad. And I just couldn’t do it, you know.” Dean shook his head. “We fought about it a lot until we finally just ended it.” He took a deep breath and looked Castiel in the eye. “Of course that’s when Dad would find out. I don’t even know how he did, never found out. I was still recovering in the hospital when he was in a car accident. We were down the hall from each other for all of an hour. He didn’t make it out of surgery.”

“Oh Dean.” Castiel’s voice was a whisper.

“Anyway.” Dean rubbed his hands down his face and took a deep breath. “My point in telling you is, I get it. I stayed because I thought Dad needed me and he was my Dad, I loved him. And I let him ruin a lot of relationships for me. Victor and I are friends now, but we lost our chance. Sam moved to California to get away from it and only came back after Dad was gone. My Uncle Bobby moved to Sioux Falls where he had to deal with the loss of his wife alone. And I lost a lot of friends over the years.” Dean shook his head. “It took me a hell of a time to get my life back together.” He leaned in close to Castiel again. “But I want to help you get there. You can’t keep going in that relationship. Let me help you get your own life back in your own hands.”

Slowly, Castiel gave a weak nod. He wondered how many times Dean was going to have to convince him that this was the right path before the whole ordeal was over. Would the mechanic grow tired of having to give him speeches? Would he suddenly, one day in middle of it all, decide that Castiel was too much trouble and wash his hands of the situation? Taking a deep breath, Castiel figured he would deal with the eventualities as they came.

“Good. Let’s get you to eat some of this.” Dean waved a hand at the tray of now cold food. “Hey, if you eat it all, I will treat you to whatever you want for your first meal on the outside.” Dean smiled at him and it grew as Castiel smiled back. Nodding, Castiel pulled the tray closer to him and began picking at the food until his hunger took over and he ate every last bit.

 

Castiel was released late that evening, the doctor seemingly taking care of all his other patients in the whole hospital before finally stopping in at Castiel’s room and signing the discharge paperwork. He couldn’t help but baulk at the invoices that said he now owed the hospital and doctor a small fortune. However, he didn’t have time to dwell on it when suddenly Dean had an arm wrapped around his waist and was tugging him from the bed to help ease him into the wheelchair.

“I can walk just fine, I assure you.” Castiel grumbled as Dean lowered him into the seat.

“Bull.” Dean mumbled and Castiel was reminded just how close the other man was.

“It’s hospital protocol sweetie.” Nurse Mosley said from her position of supervising the exchange. 

“They don’t want you falling and hurting yourself again in their coverage zone.” Dean whispered into his ear just before straightening up. “You good?” Castiel nodded, not trusting himself to speak, or look up with the blush he knew he had. “Then let’s get the show on the road.” Dean moved around the chair until he had a hold on the handles to push Castiel out of the hospital.

“You have all the instructions on his meds, right? I want you to read them once more when you get him home, make sure you know which ones are which and all that.” Nurse Mosley spoke as they walked out of the room and down the long hall.

“I got this Miss Mosley. It’s not my first rodeo, you know.” Castiel looked up over his shoulder in time to see the nurse smile sadly and pat a hand on Dean’s shoulder.

“I know, honey. And I know you’re gonna take real good care of him.” Dean nodded and Castiel looked back at the doors ahead of them. “Ok, you boys be good, keep safe.” They stopped at the doors as Dean listened to the woman talk. “And you let me know if you need anything.” Castiel tried find something to distract him, but he was confined to a wheelchair, so his eyes skimmed up once again. Nurse Mosley had one hand on Dean’s cheek and was smiling sweetly at him. “Take care of yourself, too.” 

“Yes, ma’am.” Dean nodded and she dropped her hand to turn to Castiel.

“You’re in good hands, Mr. Novak, real good, strong, talented-”

“Missouri.” Dean shot and Castiel noticed the pink tint to the man’s cheeks.

“I’m just sayin’.” She grinned. Taking a step back she waved for Dean to help Castiel out of the chair. And then he was in Castiel’s personal space again, that strong arm wrapping around his waist once more as Castiel looped his arm around Dean’s shoulders to steady himself. With a small wave the nurse left them, taking the wheelchair with her. Dean held onto him, even though Castiel was sure he would have been fine making the small walk to the car on his own. But then, he wasn’t going to say anything and have the man pull away.

“Ok, I know I said I would get whatever you want when you got out, but it’s kinda late. I was thinking I could just make us sandwiches when we get to my apartment?” Dean said as he started the car.

“Whatever is convenient for you, Dean, I don’t want to burden you.”

“Dude, you’re really not.” Dean pulled away from the hospital. “Do you know when I last had a day off? Never. And everything is covered at the shop for the rest of the week.” He shrugged, shooting a look at Castiel before turning his eyes back to the road. “Seriously, don’t hesitate to ask for anything. I am happy to be helping.” They drove the rest of the way in silence. At one point Castiel realized that they seemed to circle back to get where Dean wanted to go and he suddenly remembered their first meeting. Dean lived near Balthazar, and now Dean seemed to be going out of his way to avoid that house, that neighborhood. He found himself watching Dean as he drove, mesmerized by this man who seemed so determined to take care of him in every way he could. As this realization settled in so did a light blush and he turned to look out the window in case Dean happened to turn and see it. He was turning into a teenage girl around the handsome mechanic, blushing and his heart fluttering. Letting out a shaky sigh, Castiel told himself to get through everything with Balthazar before he began thinking about someone as amazing as Dean Winchester being attracted to someone as broken as Castiel Novak.

He had managed to push everything down enough by the time they pulled into a parking space at an apartment complex. Dean quickly got out of the car and made his way to Castiel’s door to help him climb out. Leaning Castiel against the car, Dean reached in and grabbed a small duffel bag Meg had given him with a few things for Castiel. He had assured Castiel the rest of the things were in his apartment’s only spare room, waiting for their owner.

“Sorry, this is going to be a little rough.” Dean said as they approached a set of outdoor stairs. “But I only live on the second floor, so it could be worse.”

“It’s fine, Dean.” Castiel shook his head. “I can use the railing if you want.” Dean turned his head and suddenly their faces were a mere inches apart.

“I got you.” Then he was helping Castiel up the stairs. It was actually not as bad as they thought it would be. Castiel was mostly healed, although he was still sore where Balthazar had torn him, but it was the ribs that hurt the most making his breathing shallow more often than not. Finally they made it into the apartment and Dean helped ease Castiel down on the couch before disappearing through the kitchen doorway.

“There’s not much in the spare room, just a twin bed actually. Sam and Adam have both lived here with me at different points over the years.” Dean spoke to him loudly from the kitchen as he presumably made them dinner. “But when they moved out they took everything with them. It was actually kinda lucky that I still had the bed actually.” He stepped out of the kitchen holding two plates with sandwiches and chips. “It’s not much,” he shrugged, “but it’ll do.”

“It’s perfect.” Castiel smiled and took his food. Neither of them spoke as they ate, still slightly awkward in their new friendship. When he had eaten half of his meal Castiel set the plate on the small coffee table in front of the couch. Nurse Mosley had demanded he take his meds before he left the hospital and he was suddenly feeling the effects in the form of drowsiness. Curling as well as he could into the arm of the couch, he watched Dean eat. He didn’t make it through the next five minutes, falling asleep in his spot. Carefully Dean lay a blanket over him, unsure of moving him in anyway for fear of scaring him. Instead he turned off all the lights except for a floor lamp in a corner of the room, in case Castiel woke up in middle of the night, picked up their dishes to deposit them in the sink, and went to his own room.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings** : Panic attacks.

The next day Castiel didn’t wake up until nearly eleven o’clock. Dean had been moving around the kitchen extra quietly to make sure his house guest got as much sleep as possible. When he finally awoke it was to the smell of coffee. With a groan he shifted on his temporary bed, realizing that at some point in the night he had acquired a blanket and shifted downward until he lay flat on the seat of the comfortable couch. 

“Hey, good morning sleeping beauty.” Dean’s voice was soft as he stepped out of the kitchen, so very different from Balthazar’s.

“I didn’t mean to sleep so long.” Gingerly, Castiel pushed himself up on the couch, giving Dean room to sit. “Why didn’t you wake me?” He rubbed at his eyes, and when he dropped his hands it was to find Dean holding out a coffee mug and a couple pills.

“Because there was no need.” Dean shrugged with only one shoulder, not wanting to spill the coffee.

“Thank you.” Castiel took the items offered. Taking a sip of the coffee to test the temperature, he then put the pills in his mouth and took a larger drink of the coffee to help swallow them.

“How are you feeling this morning?” Dean asked as he settled further onto the couch.

“A little better I suppose.” Castiel bit his bottom lip. “You don’t have to stay here with me, you could go to work. I can find something to occupy my time.” He shifted in his seat to try and sit straighter. “I think I could go to work.” Dean was immediately shaking his head no in response.

“Nope. Doctor said to at least take the rest of the week off so you don’t overtax your system. You’re still fighting an infection, Cas. How about you go take a real shower, get changed, I’ll make some breakfast, or lunch whichever you prefer, and we will find a movie or something to watch.” Dean smiled kindly, but Castiel knew from years of experience when someone was not going to let him win. He gave a defeated sigh and nodded. Dean let him finish his coffee then led him to the guest bedroom where Castiel gathered his toiletries and a change of clothes, amazed at how much of his things Meg had managed to get out of the house. The tour of the apartment ended at the bathroom, Dean throwing a hand in the air in the general vicinity of the last door in the hall and mumbling about his own room before disappearing into the kitchen with Castiel’s breakfast request.

Castiel tried to be as little a burden as possible. His life had led him to practice and master the art of going unnoticed, intruding on the people around him as little as another human being could, and doing all that he could to make up for the inconveniences he had to cause. After getting dressed in the bathroom, he had wiped down the shower and counter with a small washcloth before finally emerging. When Dean had disappeared down the hall to take a call from Charlie, just giving a progress report he assured, Castiel had quickly moved about the kitchen washing the dishes and cleaning up the small mess the other man had made while cooking. He was grateful the call took long enough for him to slowly, carefully, move about the small space. Although Dean had frowned and told him it hadn’t been necessary, the man still thanked Castiel for doing it. As they had sat down to watch a movie Castiel had quickly agreed to the first one Dean had suggested despite having no real interest in watching Indiana Jones. It turned out it didn’t matter as Castiel fell back asleep within the first half hour of the movie.

When Castiel awoke again, still curled in a seated position and propped against the armrest of the couch, there were hushed voices coming from the kitchen. Slowly, it seemed it was the only speed Castiel had left, he made his way to the other end of the couch, closer to the opening between the living room and kitchen, to hear better. He felt bad for all of the minute it took him to move because that was when he heard his name.

“-and I thought you could help Cas with it.” It was Dean, his voice just as soft as it had been that morning.

“Ok, yeah, that part I get, and I can, I will. But does he have to stay here with you while I do it?” The other man’s voice was unfamiliar and harder to place anyway as he was whispering furiously, as if he really wanted to yell.

“Where else is he supposed to go?” 

“When we file the restraining order he can ask to have his boyfriend moved out so he can have the house.”

“From what I gather it’s Balthazar’s house, so I doubt that would work. And it’s _ex_ -boyfriend.” The corrected term sent a spike of dread through Castiel. Of course Balt was now his ex, but he hadn’t thought about that little detail until now. And the house was Balt’s, so was the running vehicle, so was the furniture, and now, so was the joint bank account the other man had insisted they get when they had moved in together. Balthazar had argued it would make everything so much easier. Now it made everything that much harder. He had nothing! His paychecks were direct deposited! 

Suddenly there wasn’t enough air in his lungs. He tried pulling in breathes, small quick things, but it wasn’t enough. The tips of his fingers started to go numb and the edges of his vision began to blur. He had lost track of the conversation, couldn’t hear the words being said as the sound of his pounding heart and frantic breathing took over.

“Hey, hey. Cas? Castiel.” Dean was right in front of him, reaching out to offer comfort, but Castiel flinched back, pulling his hands up to his ears to try to block out the world as he closed his eyes. “Castiel.” Dean raised his voice just slightly to be heard through the other man’s hands, one of which had the extra cast in the way. “Cas, I’m not going to touch you, ok? I just need you to calm down. Can you take a deep breath? Just one?”

Cas tried to pull the air into his lungs, tried to force a longer inhale, but he stuttered through it halfway and coughed out instead. The pain in his ribs was bearable, until he tried for deep breaths.

“I know it hurts a little, Cas, but I need you to take those deep breaths.” 

Castiel tried again. This time he managed the breath but he threw back his head and winced at the pain. He was grateful for the extra padding on the arm of the chair that cushioned then cradled the back of his head. As he tried to take in the second breath his good hand fisted in his shirt right above his heart and the two injured ribs.

“That’s good. I need a few more.” Dean was hovering over him, sat on the very edge of the cushion Castiel occupied, one hand each on the back of the couch and arm rest. Castiel’s eyes grew wide as he realized Dean had boxed him in and without thinking he reached out his right hand to push at the other man’s chest as his breathing grew shallow once more. He saw Dean wince as the cast hit him and Castiel let out a guilty groan.

“Hey, it’s ok.” Dean pulled back both his hands and shifted a little further away. “I shouldn’t have been in your space. Is this better?” Castiel gave a jerky nod as he closed his eyes and once more tried to take in a deep breath. “There you go. Can you look at me?” Slowly Castiel opened his eyes once more. “Breath with me,’k?” Another nod. 

Suddenly Castiel noticed his bandaged hand was still on Dean’s chest and the man had place one of his own over it, careful not to touch any skin. His eyes focused on the hand as Dean took a deep breath. As his hand moved with the breath, Castiel took in a deep breath of his own. Once more he winced at the pain. Slowly Dean moved his other hand until it hovered over the hand Castiel had clenched in his shirt.

“Can I?” He asked. Castiel’s eyes had tracked the movement, wide as they flicked to meet Dean’s before returning to stare at the hands. He gave a slow nod as they took in another deep breath. Castiel watched as Dean carefully unwound his fingers from the fabric of his shirt and instead held the hand in his own. “There. Instead you can squeeze my hand when it hurts.” He moved a little and caught Castiel’s gaze with his own. “Another breath.” A few more deep breathes, Castiel’s eyes locked on Dean’s, two hands rising and falling with the man’s chest, the other hand squeezing with each sharp pain. Finally he had calmed down, but Dean didn’t let go. “There you go. Now, you want to tell me what happened?”

“I-I just realized.” Castiel shook his head and closed his eyes as he took another deep breath. “I have nothing. No house, no car. Even our bank account was shared. Both our paychecks going directly into it so Balt could pay the bills.”

“Shit.” Dean frowned and turned to look at the other man in the room. Castiel jerked slightly as the figure stepped into view. “Hey, it’s ok, it’s just my brother.” Dean spoke quietly, reassuringly, his thumb rubbing small circles on the back of Castiel’s good hand. “He’s a lawyer so I asked him here to help with the restraining order.”

“When do you get paid?” Sam asked, all business.

Castiel chewed on his lower lip as he thought for a minute. It had been too long since that particular fact had mattered, Balt being the one to take care of everything. “Friday.”

“This Friday?” Sam clarified. Castiel nodded. “Ok. We are going to go to your office, have HR cancel the direct deposit. On Friday you will get an actual paycheck. That sort of solves the money issue.” Sam shot a look at his brother.

“He’ll be fine until then.” Dean only glanced at his brother for an instant before his gaze was back on Castiel. “Meg said you have a car, you just don’t drive it. We can go and get it for you.” Castiel shook his head quickly.

“It doesn’t run.”

“What’s wrong with it?” Dean asked and Castiel dropped his eyes in embarrassment as he gave a small shrug.

“It just wouldn’t start one day. Luckily Balt had been late going to work so he had offered to take me to work.”

“Yeah, I’m sure it was luck.” Dean mumbled.

“When I mentioned taking it to the mechanic he brushed me off. Said he would take me anywhere I needed to go and I could always just ride the bus to and from work. That’s how it has been ever since.”

“How long?” Dean’s brow furrowed.

“Two years.” Castiel mumbled.

“Ok. I will have Benny meet us there with the tow truck. We’ll take it to my shop and I can see what I can do for it.”

“Thank you so much, Dean. I’ll pay for the repairs and everything.”

“No you won’t.” Dean’s voice had that tone that brooked no argument and Castiel’s mouth shut with a small click.

“And that solves the vehicle issue. Now, about somewhere to stay.” Sam opened his mouth to say more but Dean quickly cut him off.

“He is staying here.” Dean looked slightly over his shoulder at his brother, but his gaze was directed downward.

“Dean.” Sam folded his arms over his chest.

“No, Sam. He’s fine here.”

“There’s a women’s shelter just-”

“Hell no. Not only is there the very strong chance they won’t take him in, but if they do there’s the even stronger chance Balthazar will find him there.”

“They’ll take him in but they won’t let Balthazar step in the place. They deal with this sort of thing all the time.” Sam shot back, his voice growing louder. Slowly Castiel began to shrink into the couch cushions.

“He has Ruby working for him. And you know how good she is at looking like a battered woman.” Sam blanched at the statement.

“Yeah, and Ruby knows where you live. So instead they will just both show up here.” He shot back despite his unease.

“At least I’ll be here to stop him.”

“You can’t stay with him all the time, Dean!” Sam threw up his hands as his frustration grew. It caused Castiel to jerk back, Dean turning to look at him as the hands in his own were pulled free.

“Hey. It’s ok.” Dean’s voice was low as he reached out gently to sooth Cas once more.

“I’m sorry.” Sam sighed, running a hand down his face.

“I don’t want to cause problems.” Castiel spoke so softly both brothers leaned in just a little closer to hear. Dean let out a breath and shook his head.

“No. You are not causing problems. Sam.” Dean shot a look at his brother. “Sam is causing problems. But he’s great at what he does and so we need him.” Sam let out a huffed laugh.

“Thanks.” He turned and scanned the room before bending to sit on the edge of coffee table. Dean let out an indignant noise at his brother’s choice of seat, but remained quiet at the look Sam shot back. “Anyway. You think you’re ok to go to the office today and get that sorted out with your paycheck?” Sam’s focus was back on Castiel.

“Yes.”

“You shouldn’t be walking.”

“I’m fine. The pain’s not that bad. I…it’s…I’ve…” Castiel’s mouth opened and closed a few more times. He couldn’t admit to Dean he had suffered through work with the same kind of injures he now had. And he didn’t know what all Dean had told his brother, but he wasn’t about to talk about such injuries in front of the man. Instead he watched as recognition bloomed on Dean’s face.

“Son of a bitch.” Dean hissed, dropping his head and pinching the bridge of his nose as he took a couple of deep, steadying breathes. When he looked back up it was to look straight at Castiel. “Never again. Ok? It’s not going to happen again.” Castiel bit his lip and nodded, wanting so badly to believe the man in front of him. Sam looked from his brother to Castiel and back again, wisely keeping his questions to himself.

“Ok, well then we’ll go do that first. Then go to the court house to file the restraining order. We’ll have to make a stop at the precinct to get Jody to give us a copy of the police report, just in case. After that, Dean you and Cas can meet Benny at the car.”

“That’s a lot of shit to get done for a guy that’s supposed to be taking time to heal.” Dean frowned.

“I know. But all of this stuff is time sensitive. They should give him a temporary order and then he will have some time before the court date for the permanent order.” Sam stood.

“Should? Meaning there is a chance they won’t?” Dean asked the question that had Castiel growing unsure once more.

“The chances they won’t are very slim. With the courts they would rather be safe than sorry with this sort of thing. And with the police report on hand, they are really not going to turn him down.” Sam looked down at Castiel. “You’ll get the order. He’ll be forced to stay away from you or risk jail time.” 

“Well, than, let’s get moving.” Dean stood, stretching out his lower back as he did so, and then quickly took a step back to give Castiel room to move.

“Thank you both, for helping me with all of this. Really, I don’t know how to repay all this.” Castiel said as he looked up at the two men.

“Well, Dean is paying me for my time.” Sam said, letting out a huff of air just as his brother smacked him in the chest. “Jerk.” Sam hissed as he rubbed the spot with a frown.

“Bitch.” Dean shot back before turning back to Castiel. “Don’t worry about it, buddy. I’m just glad I can help.” Dean glared at his brother again when he let out a snort. “Shut it.”

“I’m going to go wait in my car. Gonna make a call to Amelia anyway.” Sam shrugged and left.

“I’m going to go get your meds. You need to take a dose before we leave. Why don’t you finish getting ready."

“Just the antibiotics please.” Castiel said as he slowly moved to get off the couch.

“Cas, you should stay on the painkillers.”

“Dean, I can handle the pain. And I need to be as lucid as possible. Those things keep knocking me out and I don’t have time for that today.” Castiel stood in front of Dean, both men with frowns although he could see Dean biting back a smile.

“Fine.” As Dean turned to go to the kitchen Castiel saw the grin finally break out and he couldn’t stop his own lips from tilting upwards at the corners as he made his way to the guest bedroom for shoes and his trench coat.

 

It took them a lot longer than expected to make the rounds. At the accounting firm Dean had called up to Meg to make sure Ruby was nowhere in sight as they made their way up. As they had been leaving, however, Meg had rushed from the elevator of the first floor to grab Castiel up in a hug. Apparently seeing him in the state he had been when they had taken him to the hospital and then being unable to see him since had frightened her more than she cared to admit. Castiel had stiffened when her arms first wrapped around him but had eased into it quickly enough. This woman had almost been his best friend. Balt had aborted the relationship just when Castiel was starting to open up to the woman and while they had talked a handful of times in the years since, it had never been the same between them. With Meg holding onto him, having seen every bit of the details his boyfriend had wrought upon him, Castiel felt a little glow of hope that despite being broken he at least had a friend willing to overlook the scars. She had finally let go after his promises of keeping her updated, of vague plans of getting together in the future, and one of Dean’s business cards in hand, his address scrawled on the back and an open invitation to visit Castiel when she wanted.

Then what should have been a quick in and out at the Sheriff’s office turned into far more of an ordeal than any of the three had expected. Jody had decided that since she had Castiel there, and they wanted a police report, it was the best opportunity for Castiel to give those details he had left out at the hospital. Dean had pleaded with the Sheriff about it not really being strictly necessary, trying to save Castiel the pain of having to recall the events so vividly, but in the end they had given in. Jody led Castiel to a private room while Sam and Dean took cups of coffee to her office to wait on them. When they had finally reemerged and stepped into the office where both men jumped from their seats at their entrance, Castiel was in poor shape. He had cried through most of the interview, leaving his eyes and nose red and puffy, he felt defeated, his shoulders sagging under the suddenly intense weight of the trench coat, and he was pale from the pain of trying to take deep breathes to remain calm and shifting in the hard chair so often. He wanted to sit but was unsure if he could without wincing, and that wasn’t something he wanted Sam to see.

“Are you ok?” Dean’s voice shook as he stepped closer to Castiel, his hands twitching as if he wanted to reach out to the tired man. Castiel wanted so badly for those strong arms to wrap around him, hold him safe, and ease some of the stress, but at that moment he knew he couldn’t stand to be touched, too raw from the emotions. No doubt he also didn’t have any right to ask for such comfort from Dean, the man was only helping him get away from Balt, he wasn’t there to take on the burden of Castiel completely. With a heavy sigh, Castiel gave him a small nod.

“You did amazing, Castiel.” Jody said from her desk. She handed over the part of the report already filed. “Here’s what I have from the hospital, Sam. I’ll get the rest of this into the system and you can have it when it goes to trial.” Sam gave a brief nod as he looked down at the file in his hands. As his eyes grew wide and Castiel saw him start to look up, Castiel dropped his own gaze, his cheeks growing warm as he felt Sam shoot a glance his way.

“Do you know where Mr. Roche is now?” Sam asked, his voice slightly strained.

“He posted bail as soon as he could. Left here in a cloud of anger and colorful phrases. I think we should get a translator in here for them Brits. He was too livid to understand. But he doesn’t know for sure where Castiel is, I got that from the ranting, thought he was going to go home and find him cowering in a corner I guess. Bastard has another thing coming when he realizes who all is in your corner.” Jody said the last part directly to Castiel. “Just keep an eye out.” She shrugged and sat down behind her desk. “You boys keep him safe.”

“Will do.” Dean nodded. They left the building and Castiel felt like he could breath just a little easier. Next was the court house, which turned out to be the shortest of their errands.

“Has Sam done this before?” Castiel asked quietly, leaning a little into Dean to make himself heard only to him as Sam stood at the counter of the clerk, waiting for multiple copies of Castiel’s new temporary restraining order against one Balthazar Roche. They had been moving to the door to leave when they noticed the younger man had remained in his spot, asking the clerk to make copies for him of the document.

“Yeah. Um.” Dean bit his lower lip and cleared his throat. “He filed one against Ruby. When they first broke up she would approach him every so often. It was annoying if anything. But when he and Amelia started to date.” Dean shook his head. “She kinda went crazy. He took one out on her to be safe, more worried for Amelia, really. Since then, he’s helped others get ones.” Dean straightened and stopped talking as Sam turned and headed their way.

“Ok, take these.” Sam held out a stack of papers stapled in sets. “Keep one on you at all times. Give one to Meg to keep at her desk at the office. Give one to Dean and anyone else you think would need to know that he needs to stay away from you. I will take one to him and one to Jody to have on file at the station. Let’s go get your car.” They left the court house, Sam walking ahead of them to get to his car quickly, and Dean on the phone with Benny telling him where to meet them. Sam paused at his car before getting in and spoke loud enough for them to hear. “If he is at home, just keep driving, Benny and I will figure things out.” He slid into the driver’s seat of his car without realizing the effect his words had on Castiel.

“Last thing and then you can relax, ok?” Dean opened the car door for Castiel since having his right hand in a cast made things a little more difficult. Castiel slid into the car in silence and as soon as Dean had closed the door he turned to stare out the window. His body was shaking just enough, his breathing just a little more ragged, his face flushed just a degree warmer, and it all made him a little dizzy as he waited anxiously but quietly in the passenger seat for the house to come into view. He didn’t realize that as they had gotten closer he had been holding his breath until Dean came to a stop in front of the mailbox and the air rushed from his lungs. Balthazar’s car was gone.

“You can’t park there.” Sam said as soon as Dean climbed out of the car.

“Seriously? We’ll be here ten minutes max.” Dean opened Castiel’s door and helped the man out. “And this is like, my spot.” Castiel couldn’t stop the little eye roll at Dean’s statement and suddenly the other man was laughing. “Did you just see that!” Dean exclaimed to his brother as he pointed at Castiel who was once again blushing. “He rolled his eyes at me.”

“Even he thinks you’re ridiculous.” Sam huffed but Castiel could see a small smile on his own face. Suddenly they heard the rumble and rattle of the tow truck as Benny approached. Dean took a step off the curb to wave Benny forward and into the driveway. Carefully, Benny pulled forward, put the truck in reverse, and backed into the spot. 

“I’ll open the garage.” Castiel said, moving past the others. He had reached the front door and was in the process of unlocking it when he realized that Dean was right behind him.  
“You can wait out here, I just have to push the button.” He opened the door but paused in the threshold.

“Nope. Sorry, but I am not letting you out of my sight.” Dean took a step closer and waved Castiel onward. Huffing an exasperated sigh, Castiel made his way quickly through the living room, into the kitchen, and through a door to the garage. He had flipped the light switch and was reaching for the garage door opener when Dean let out a chuckle and spoke.

“Dude, you have a pimp-mobile.”

Castiel hit the button and the sectioned door began retracting. “I happen to like it.” Castiel frowned.

“Hey man, to each their own.” Dean grinned, looking from the car to Castiel and back as light flooded the space. “It matches your coat.”

“I’m glad I can amuse you.” Another roll of his eyes had Dean bent double laughing as Sam stepped into view.

“What’s his deal?” Sam pointed at Dean, keeping an eye on Benny as the mechanic backed the truck up more so the cables could reach the car.

“He thinks my car is funny.” Castiel offered, looking at Dean once more.

“Dean.” Sam snapped and Castiel jerked. His reaction had Dean’s laughter fading as he looked at Castiel with worry.

“You good?” He mumbled, holding out a hand to the man now leaned against the car. Castiel gave a little nod. “Ok, give me your keys. You go sit in the car and relax. When Benny and I have the car hooked up I’ll lock the place up. Balthazar won’t even know we were here unless he comes in the garage.” It only took a moments hesitation before Castiel was dropping his keys into Dean’s palm and gingerly walking back to the Impala. Sitting in the passenger seat he sat crookedly so that as little pressure as possible was actually on his butt. He watched through the window as Benny and Dean connected his car to the tow truck and the burly man climbed back into the car and pulled away, headed for the auto-shop. Dean and Sam spoke as they stepped back into the garage and the door began to descend once more. Minutes later they came out the front door, Dean locked up, and they walked back to their cars where they presumably said their goodbyes and went their separate ways.

“Are you ok with us going to the shop? I wanted to look at your car myself. And I have this awesome chair in my office where you can relax and Charlie has one of those fancy coffee makers so you can have almost any beverage you could want, hot ones at least.” Dean looked at Castiel as he put the car into drive. “Did I sell you on it yet or do I need to keep rambling?” Castiel smiled.

“I think you convinced me.”

“Good. And on our way out I owe you that meal of your heart’s desire.” Castiel let out a small laugh. “That’s a real nice sound. You should do that more often.” Dean said quietly.

“Do what?” Castiel shifted a little more so that he was still sitting mostly on his thigh but now turned toward Dean.

“Laugh.” Dean glanced at him before focusing on the road once more. “You have a real nice laugh, Cas.” He didn’t know how to respond to that. Instead they drove the rest of the way to the garage in silence.

“Oh look at that, our fearless leader finally makes an appearance and he brings guests.” Charlie said, sitting up a little straighter in her chair.

“Everything good here?” Dean asked as they walked through the lobby, Castiel just far enough behind Dean to be protected but not touching.

“Of course it is because you only hire the best.” The red head smirked.

“Is that the kind of lies you spread around.” Dean laughed and waved Castiel into his office before him. “I am not taking cars. I am here to look at the Oldsmobile and then leave. Got it?” Charlie gave a quick nod and tried to look over Dean’s shoulder at the trench coated figure in the middle of the small office. Dean shut the door once he had stepped in. “Ok, come sit over here.” Dean moved around the desk and pulled out his chair. “I don’t think you can hurt anything in this mess, but it’s safer just not to touch anything. Do you want something to drink?”

“A black coffee would be nice.” Castiel sank into the leather chair with a small sigh.

“You got it. Give me twenty to see what’s going on. I’ll have Charlie bring you coffee.”

“Are you sure I’m not in the way, Dean?”

“Of course not.” Dean smiled down at him for a moment before crossing back to the door, closing it when he had left again.

Castiel tried to relax in the quiet office that smelled like leather, motor oil, car exhaust, and wood; the desk was a quiet impressive piece in oak. He had the overwhelming sense that if he were to actually sink into Dean’s arms after a long day at work he would smell exactly like this office with a little twang of sweat. The thought made him blush just in time for the door to open and Charlie to breeze into the office.

“Ok, so I am supposed to leave you alone in here, not bother you, according to Dean. Or,” she drew out the syllable, “You could pull that chair around and over to the doorway so you are still in the office and I am out of it but we can talk.” She held the coffee mug with a mischievous smile.

“Won’t that upset Dean?” Castiel frowned, fear starting to crawl up his spine at the thought of an angry Dean.

“Eh, it might, but he’ll get over it.” She shrugged, the cup moving up and down with her shoulders.

“Oh, no, then. I’ll be just fine here.” His eyes dropped to the edge of the desk but not before he saw the deep frown on her face.

“Castiel, I don’t think he will mind. Not really. Not if you tell him you preferred to be where you could talk to someone.” She spoke slowly, trying to figure out which was the part that made him stay put.

“Dean asked that I stay put and I would rather not go against his wishes. He has already been too nice.” He shook his head. Finally Charlie gave a sigh and placed the coffee on the desk in front of him.

“Ok. Black coffee, as requested.” She made her way back to the door. “But I am leaving the door open in case you need anything.” And she walked out before he could protest.  
With the door open he had a view through the lobby with Charlie front and center once she had shifted her stool the few feet over so she could see into the office. He couldn’t however, see the door, only listening to the bell the few times it jingled as another customer stepped in or out of the building. Occasionally he would even see a customer as they stepped up to speak with Charlie. Mostly he sipped on his coffee and let his eyes wonder over the office around him. Ten minutes had passed and he was just turning his head to see a picture of a young Dean and Sam with an older man with a mustache, beard, and trucker hat that were offset by a smile. Suddenly the front door was thrown open, the sound of the bell above jingling furiously and the clatter as the back of it hit a chair unlucky enough to be too close filled the lobby and office.

“Where is he?” The voice was loud, furious, and too familiar.

“You’re going to have to be more specific than that.” Charlie stood from her stool and took a couple of steps until she was out of Castiel’s line of sight, her voice calm all the while. “I am surrounded by he’s and every one of them has the special ability to piss people off.”

“Dean. The owner. Dean.” The man was searching for the full name and a moment later he snapped, Castiel flinching into the chair at the sound, and the accented voice spat out the name. “Dean Winchester.”

“He’s currently working on a car, but if you have a seat I can page him.” Charlie stepped back into sight to knock her knuckles against the glass wall before reaching for a phone mounted to it. “Dean, you have a visitor.” She said into the receiver before hanging up. As she stepped back to the man in the lobby her hand jerked at her side and Castiel realized she was telling him not to move. He was sure there was no chance he could even if he wanted to.

“Where the hell did he get that car?” Balthazar’s voice was the definition of barely controlled wrath and Castiel could only assume he was looking through the glass to see the Oldsmobile being worked on. Before Charlie could offer a response, Dean had stepped through the door connecting the work area.

“You need to leave.” His voice was even, firm, and filled the lobby.

“Like hell.” Castiel heard Balthazar take a few quick steps forward and Dean did the same to meet him and prevent him from being able to see into the office. “What have you done to my fiance?” The word made Castiel sick to his stomach. Balthazar had first used it the night he met Dean, had never actually asked, but threw it around like it was a fact.

“I can’t help you and you need to leave.” Dean crossed his arms over his chest. “You can leave now or I can call the cops and have you removed.” Castiel squeezed his eyes shut as his breathing grew more ragged and he felt his limbs trembling.

“You know where he is, I just know it. Now tell me before I file kidnapping charges and have you arrested.”

“That’s not going to happen. In fact.” Dean reached into his back pocket and pulled out his copy of the restraining order. “A lawyer has another one for you, but why don’t you have mine.” A hand reached out and jerked the paper out of Dean’s hand.

There was a heavy silence as Castiel assumed Balthazar read the papers. Instead of a shouted response Dean was answered with a fist to his cheekbone. Castiel jumped from his chair with a gasp that quickly turned into a cry of pain. “What was that?” Balthazar’s footsteps quickly grew louder as he made his way around the counter.

“Charlie shut my office door.” Dean ordered as he moved after Balthazar. “This is your last chance to leave before we take matters into our own hands.” His voice was angry now. Just as Charlie appeared in the doorway and rushed into the office he saw the door leading to the garage opened. Castiel caught sight of Benny, Dean’s youngest brother, and one other man stepping into the lobby just before Charlie shut and locked the office door.

“Angry ex?” She asked in panting breathes.

“Y-Yes.” Castiel nodded before collapsing into the chair with another small cry of pain.

“Are you ok?” Charlie quickly moved to step around the desk.

“Yes!” He pushed the chair back, further away from her. “Please! Just stay back.” He was panicking once more.

“Ok.” Charlie stepped back, her hands raised in surrender.

Castiel pulled his feet into the chair, curling his arms around his shins and burying his head in his knees as he began to choke out sobs. He didn’t hear the last of the yelling, the jingle of the bell above the door, or Dean knocking on the office door and asking Charlie to let him in. It wasn’t until he heard Dean speaking softly so close to him that Castiel registered anything outside of himself.

“Hey, Cas. Can you come back to me? He’s gone. He’s gone and he’s not coming anywhere near you. I’m not going to let him hurt you. You’re going to be ok. I just need you to breath. Can you breath with me?” Finally Castiel held out his casted hand, letting Dean put it against his chest, his talking turning into the sound of deep breathing. Slowly Castiel calmed just as he had earlier that day. “Can you look at me?” Dean asked. Castiel turned his head until his temple rested on his knee and only Dean could see his face. He didn’t know if Charlie was still in the office and he wasn’t going to chance her seeing his tear streaked face. “Hi.” Dean smiled hopefully.

“Hello Dean.” Castiel’s voice was barely above a whisper.

“He’s gone.” At his words Castiel’s eyes focused on the bruise already appearing just below Dean’s eye and he let guilty groan.

“He hit you.”

“Been hit worse, Cas.” Dean’s smile never faded.

“But he hit you because of me.”

“He hit me because he’s a dick.”

“I’m sorry. I’ve caused you so much trouble.” Castiel shook his head, rubbing his eyes on his knees with the motion.

“Hey, no, don’t do that. I just got you back.” Dean took Castiel’s other hand. “I’d gladly take all the trouble if it means you getting out of there safe, ok? Don’t make me repeat the whole spiel.” Castiel took another couple deep breathes before he finally let his feet fall to land on the floor. “Awesome. You ready to get out of here?”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Your car will be ready to go by tomorrow morning, Benny is going to finish with it. And we have some awesome, favorite meal to pick up on the way home.” Dean stood, tugging on Castiel’s hands to get him to stand as well.

“What was wrong with it?”

Dean clicked his tongue. “Distributor cap was missing. My guess Balthazar pulled it knowing you wouldn’t know what was wrong and he could convince you to stop driving. Easy enough fix, but now it needs a tune up after sitting for two plus years.”

“Thank you so much.” They had left the office, waved goodbye to a relieved looking Charlie, and had almost reached the Impala by the time Castiel realized the Dean still held his hand. He slid into the front seat of the car trying to hold back the grin that was threatening to take over his whole face. He wasn’t doing a very good job of it. When Dean slid in next to him and started the car, glancing at Castiel with a small smile, he lost the fight completely. For the first time in what felt like forever Castiel genuinely smiled.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it folks. I realize it is kind of a large jump from the last chapter, but go with me on this? Ok? Let me know if it is just too much of a strain. I can't guarantee I will rewrite (I purposefully ended with chapter 8 for balance) but I know I can avoid this kind of stretch in the future.
> 
> All of your kudos have been so welcome. Thanks for reading!

**Six Months Later**

Castiel felt his hands shake as he stepped out of the court house. It was a beautiful day, perfectly warm with just enough of a breeze to warrant him wearing his tan trench coat over his suit. Slowly he made his way down the steps of the building, gaze firmly planted on his feet until he reached the sidewalk. He looked up just enough to find the closest bench and made his way carefully through people, head down shoulders up, fingers jerking and tapping against one another as he tried to remain calm. As soon as he had reached the seat he collapsed into it, elbows on his knees and head in his hands as he struggled to take a deep breath. It had been a long time since the pain in his ribs had stopped, but the memory of so many panic attacks in those first few weeks, times of struggling to catch a deep breath only to have the shock of the injury pushing those first few breathes harshly back out, still caused his first few inhales to shudder. Finally he could manage a normal intake of air, but his hands still trembled and he vaguely wondered how long this new effect would linger.

“You good?” Dean’s voice was low, meant only for him in the crowded city. Castiel looked up to find his friend had taken a seat next to him on the bench, and he looked so relaxed that for a moment Castiel was envious. Dean had one arm over the backrest of the bench, aligned with Castiel’s body but nowhere near touching him. His other hand sat casually on his knee, the ankle of that leg propped up on his other knee. He looked so laid back, so natural, and no one looked at them twice. 

“I think so.” Castiel cleared his throat, straightened a little. “Mostly.” Dean nodded with a smile, slowly looking around them as if for a threat. But the threat was in the court house. The threat was being kept inside so as not to violate the rules of the restraining order Castiel had in place. Finally, satisfied that he found no harm around them, Dean turned his eyes once more on Castiel, taking in his threat level.

It had taken them a while to figure each other out. Long days and weeks of Dean getting too close to Castiel during an attack, putting a hand on him too soon. A couple of times of saying the exact wrong things. One time of worrying over him in public. Each incident had been filed carefully away in the “How Not To Help Castiel” file, and with each new attack Dean got better at doing the right things to help his friend calm down and recover. Of course, the panic attacks had begun slowing down as well. With each new day that passed that Dean didn’t hit Castiel or kept his voice barely in check but didn’t yell, didn’t get eerily quiet only to punctuate his unspoken anger with a fist, Castiel found himself trusting Dean a little more.

The day Balthazar showed up at Dean’s home had been frightening, for Castiel in all the obvious ways, for Dean because for one glaring minute he had failed to protect his friend and he worried Castiel wouldn’t snap out of it this time. It had taken the violent man a little while before he could prove that Castiel was with Dean, since Castiel remained too scared to go anywhere outside Dean’s home and work. The moment he seemed to have figured it out he must have gone to Ruby for an address, Dean having been too careful in watching to make sure he wasn’t followed around town in anticipation of Balthazar wanting to find Castiel so badly. He had knocked on the apartment door on a Saturday afternoon and when Dean had answered Balthazar had rushed him, knocking him to the ground. Castiel had been sitting in the living room, instantly jumping from his seat in fear and had backed into a wall so quickly that he hit his head. It hadn’t caused any damage, but he had slid to the ground as he cradled the sore spot, eyes unable to move from the scene of the two men wrestling on the ground. Balthazar had not anticipated anyone else being there, hadn’t seen the large black man that moved quickly around the couch and at them. It had been Castiel’s first time meeting Victor, Dean trying to reassure Castiel that he had plenty of people to keep Balthazar at bay. By the time Victor had wrestled Balthazar to the ground, Dean had a busted lip and would develop a nice bruise spanning a few of his ribs. He hadn’t cared at all as he made his way across the room to Castiel’s side. Victor dragged Balthazar from the apartment where Castiel later found out he called Jody and she came to arrest Balthazar on new charges. Castiel hadn’t cared since he was incapable of registering anything outside of his panic attack. It had taken Dean hours to calm Castiel enough to move to the guest room and get some rest. It had taken days for Castiel to step out of the room for anything other than trips to the bathroom. Castiel almost lost his job. Dean almost lost Castiel.

The next week, just as Castiel re-emerged from his self imposed exile, had been the date of the court decision on Castiel’s restraining order against Balthazar. It had been granted. It didn’t do much for his anxiety, but it seemed to keep the other man at bay a little better since he had come to realize what getting caught violating the order could lead to. Jody had a way with words.

Thanksgiving had come, Castiel stubbornly remaining in what he had come to consider his room. Dean had begged him to join him in going to the Roadhouse where Ellen closed the bar and hosted a dinner for their mixed-maxed group of friends, each of them with nowhere else to go for the holiday. He had asked several times over the course of the week before, had spent an hour trying to convince Castiel the day before, and spent the entire time he was making pie the day off still trying. Castiel remained unmovable in his decision to keep to himself, out of everyone’s way, and unable to ruin anyone’s good cheer from his spot on his bed. Dean had brought home left-overs, too many Castiel thought, and begun digging around the Internet for information on Castiel’s siblings the next day.

Christmas had been much the same, only Dean didn’t try as hard to persuade Castiel to come out. When Castiel did emerge Christmas morning it was to nearly trip over a small stack of presents outside his door. Dean had come home to find Castiel crying as he sat on his bed, the unwrapped presents in front of him. It had taken him twenty minutes to calm Castiel down enough to find out that he was overwhelmed by the show of love from his new friends. Dean had laughed and helped Castiel find places for the gifts he, Sam, Meg, and Charlie had given Castiel. Dean had left out one present, decided at the last minute that morning to hold onto the piece of paper with the contact info for Gabriel and Anna for purely selfish reasons. He was afraid Castiel would hate him for looking for the siblings that no longer spoke to him or worse, he would be so happy he would move to be closer to them and leave Dean behind.

Dean’s birthday had come and gone with no hint of the day. Charlie had tried to convince Dean to have a party, to celebrate. Dean had asked only that he be left alone to relax. Castiel didn’t find out until weeks later that the day Dean had stayed home with him watching movies, eating junk food, and just talking had been the other man’s birthday. Castiel had spent the day after he found out locked in his room feeling guilty at having kept Dean from actually celebrating. They had a belated party at the apartment, just friends and pizzas and Star Wars. Castiel had given Dean a gift. Then he had smiled and laughed at something Charlie said, leaning into Dean’s side and placing his hand on the mechanic’s bicep to help steady himself. Dean had counted that as Castiel’s second gift. And it had been the best present of the night.

It had been six months of living together, getting to know one another, becoming friends. Six months of Dean watching out for Castiel, trying to build him back up after all the damage Balthazar had done. Six months of Castiel slowly learning how to navigate around other people and their emotions without ignoring his own. Six months of Castiel getting used to being in his own skin without fear of upsetting anyone. And at the end of the six months he still had some work to do, still had some things to get over, but he was doing good.

And now they were waiting for the verdict on the charges against Balthazar. Multiple assault charges, sexual assault charges, violating a restraining order. They weren’t worried about him being found guilty, what with the pictures of Castiel’s injuries, the witness accounts, and Castiel’s own testimony, during which he had paused multiple times to look Dean in the eye and re-orient himself, there was little doubt that Balthazar would not be found guilty. It was the punishment Castiel was worried about. Jody and Victor had warned him that he could get as little as two years probation, meaning that while the restraining order was still in place, Balthazar would be somewhere out there able to still come after him.

Dean watched him closely from across the bench and Castiel squinted in the sunlight, still hunched over, as he looked back at Dean slightly over his shoulder. They sat quietly for a little while, taking in the somewhat peaceful moment before they had to go back to facing the situation at hand. Dean twitched slightly and reached in his pocket for his phone. Castiel realized the device had to be on vibrate and he let out a quiet chuckle.

“Sam says they have a verdict. You want to go in there or wait here for it?” Dean tucked his phone back in his pocket, taking his time before returning his eyes to Castiel for an answer. “We could go by the Roadhouse? Get some burgers? Head home.” He offered.

“I would prefer that, yes.” Castiel’s voice was low, soft. He wanted the comfort Dean’s apartment had begun to offer him instead of sitting in the cold, crowded court room waiting to hear what the judge said as Balthazar stared him down.

Dean carefully stood and waited for Castiel to join him before leading the way back to the Impala. They didn’t talk, it wasn’t really the day for chit chat, as they climbed into the car and headed for the bar. Castiel was slightly shocked when Dean left the radio off, but he was also grateful as he sunk a little more into the leather bench seat and stared out the window. When Dean came to a stop in front of the bar and made no move to get out of the car, Castiel turned to him in confusion,

“So I did a thing.” Dean mumbled into the silence filling the vehicle.

“What thing?” Castiel turned slightly to face the other man. “Dean, what are you talking about?”

“I did some looking around and then instead of giving you the info because I thought you would chicken out or not doing anything out of guilt, I called them myself. And then I thought you could really hate me for that move, but it was already done. And I can’t take it back. And I would understand if you were pissed at me for going behind your back. And I would understand if this kinda messed things up with…us.” His words were so rushed, so frantic until the end, that Castiel couldn’t help but focus on that last word alone. Slowly he made sense of the rest but he was only more confused.

“Who are you talking about?”

“Gabriel and Anna.” Dean waited a moment for the names to sink in. “They are here. In there.” He nodded at the building in front of them.

“In there?” Castiel’s eyes grew wide. “My brother and sister are in there?” He pointed a finger at the Roadhouse, not taking his eyes from Dean as the other man gave a shaky nod. Castiel fell back against the seat with a huffed out sigh, not realizing that he had moved to the edge of the leather in the first place. “You called them?” His voice was small and trembled slightly.

“Yeah. It took me more time to get up the guts to contact them than to actually find them. But I called.”

“What did you tell them?”

“That you were ok first. Both of them were kinda scared I was calling to deliver news of your death.” There was no humor in the statement at all. “Um, then just the basics. You and Balthazar weren’t together any more, you filed charges, you missed them.” Castiel’s gaze jerked up to find Dean staring at him with a sad knowing smile. He had finally asked why Castiel repeatedly read that one book, where he had gotten the trench coat from. They had been sitting in the dark on the couch watching some movie Castiel couldn’t remember later. Dean had muted the TV allowing Castiel to basically whisper his confession. Gabriel had given him the coat, Anna the book, on the last birthday he had had while still allowed to talk to his siblings. Soon after Balthazar had told him he didn’t like his boyfriend’s siblings, thought they were rude and belittling to Castiel, and had started a fight between them and Castiel. After that Castiel had stopped talking to them and Balthazar made sure they didn’t talk to him. But he missed his brother and sister something fierce, curling into the coat as often as he could, rereading a book that always made him cry. They were the last connections he had to the last of his family.

“And they want to see me?” Castiel asked, his voice shaking a little more. Slowly Dean reached over, his hand hovering for just a second, a warning, before he gripped Castiel’s hand in his own.

“Yeah they want to see you, Cas. They missed you just as much.” Castiel nodded and blinked back a few tears. He took a deep, ragged breath, and opened the car door.

For the first time since meeting him, Dean followed Castiel. He walked behind the other man as Castiel slowly but decidedly made his way through the door of the Roadhouse and to the bar. Ellen stood behind the counter talking to Jo as she kept a careful eye on the two men now approaching her.

“We got a verdict?” She asked as they came to a stop in front of her.

“Um, they are announcing it now.” Dean offered as Castiel stared down at the surface of the bar, slowly letting his eyes dart around the room taking in more of the room with each sweep. “Sam’ll text us when they are out.”

“Yeah.” Ellen nodded and pursed her lips. Leaning forward she caught Castiel’s eye. He lifted his head as she maintained the eye contact, and when he was finally standing straight, head held high, she nodded her head toward a booth in the corner, a small smile tilting the edges of her lips. Castiel took a breath before turning to look at the booth Ellen had indicated.

“Oh.” The relief was so palpable that it made him a little dizzy. Dean steadied him with a hand at his elbow. Castiel couldn’t take his eyes off the red head now staring at him from across the room. Slowly she stood up, lifting her hands to her mouth, and he saw the tears as she got closer, running across the space between them to throw her arms around his neck.

“Oh Castiel.” She let out on a sob as she clung to him. Dean let go of his arm so that he could wrap both arms tightly around his sister. “Oh you look amazing.” She pulled back to take his face in her hands, a wet laugh bubbling up before she threw her arms back around his neck.

“Easy there Anna, you’re going to scare the poor kid.” Castiel looked past Anna to see Gabriel walking toward them, the impish smile Castiel would have recognized replaced with something softer, more genuine. “Hey there baby bro.” Once more Anna was pulling away, this time to angle herself so that she could reach out and pull her other brother into the hug. Gabriel and Castiel chuckled as the older, but shorter, Novak stumbled into the embrace. Finally Gabriel took a step back, convincing Anna that she could do the same and give Castiel space to breath.

“Oh come sit with us, we have to catch up on so much.” Anna wound her arms around one of Castiel’s and pulled him toward the booth they had been sitting at. He stumbled the step, turning to look at Dean.

“Go, I’ll be right here.” Dean reassured him.

“So, you’re Dean?” Gabriel asked, holding out a hand.

“Yeah. It’s good to finally meet you both.” Dean shook Gabe’s hand, lifted his other in a small wave to Anna who politely smiled before tugging on her brother’s arm once more. “Cas has talked about you guys an awful lot.” Dean smiled at his friend. “Go spend some time with your family, man.” Castiel bit his lip and nodded, finally letting his sister pull him to the booth.

“Dean says you finally left the douche bag.” Gabe said as he slid onto the bench across from Anna and Castiel.

“Gabe!” Anna hissed.

“It’s ok.” Castiel smiled at his sister. “Um, yeah. Dean helped. A lot. Uh, did Dean tell you the whole story?” He looked from one to the other as they shook their heads.

“No, he said it was your place to tell us, not his.” Anna offered.

Castiel nodded and took a deep breath before beginning his story. He didn’t bother starting at the very beginning, after all, that had been when he was still talking to them and he had waxed poetic enough back then about how amazing Balthazar Roche was. He didn’t tell them about when the abuse started, worried they would feel guilty about not seeing the signs for what they were, because Balthazar had hit him a few times by the time Castiel had stopped talking to his siblings. He didn’t point out that it had been soon after cutting off communication with them that the emotional abuse had begun because he didn’t need to hear how if he had only turned to them then, called out for help, they would have found a way to help him. So instead he started at meeting Dean. 

His voice was low as he admitted to taking the car to the wrong mechanic when Balthazar had told him to get it fixed on his lunch break because the other man had been too busy. He only briefly recalled sitting in the lobby of the auto-shop waiting on his car when Balthazar had stormed in, whisper-yelling at him as he pulled Castiel from the place, and thus causing him to drop his trench coat. When he had pleaded with Balthazar to let him go back in for just a moment to retrieve it, the other man had refused, hating the coat Gabriel had given him anyway. The next day, as Balthazar was hitting him because some strange man had been leaving the house after returning the coat, accusing Castiel of leaving the garment at a lover’s house even though he clearly remembered the day before, simply looking for an excuse to hit the meeker man, Castiel had cried and he couldn’t be sure if their tears were from the pain or the relief at having his brother’s last gift back in his possession.

“I ran into him a few times after that.” Castiel’s eyes slid to look at the man on a stool at the bar, turned half toward their booth but focused down on his burger. “He kept noticing my bruises.” He bit his lip. “It turns out his father abused him, he recognized the signs. And he wanted to help me out. But when he went to my office to talk to me, I wasn’t there. Meg took him to my house where they found me in pretty bad shape and took me to the hospital.” He gave a little shrug, reaching for a fry off Anna’s plate. “It took some convincing but he talked me into finally leaving Balthazar and pressing charges.”

“Well, that along with getting a hold of us to come see you makes him ok in my book.” Gabriel grinned. “He says you’re living together.” The oldest Novak waggled his eyebrows.

“It’s not like that.” Castiel blushed, his eyes falling to the scarred table top. “Dean has been a really good friend. He has allowed me to stay with him this long so that he can be there in case Balt had decided to violate the restraining order. He gave me a place to feel safe.”

“So if Balt gets sent to jail, you’re going to move out, right?” Anna asked with a sort of verbal nudge.

“I suppose I could, yes.” Castiel shrugged.

“I just think it would be best if you were on your own again. You know, give you some time to get back to who you were before Balt.” She looked at him for confirmation that her idea was best.

“I-I don’t know. I think I am doing that just fine at the apartment. Dean is really considerate about giving me plenty of space.” Anna didn’t seem to be listening too carefully to his words, instead caught up in her own ideas.

“Oh! Or how about after you find out the verdict you take a small vacation. Come stay with me or even Gabe. You could see some of your old friends. Get your thoughts together. And then we could help you find a new place.” She grinned, like it was the easiest solution in the world.

“Anna, I have a job. And I took off a lot of time over the years to heal from Balt. That last time I had to take off two weeks.” He shot a look at Dean, remembering how the other man had called in for him the second week, insisting Castiel still wasn’t ready to be at work. “I don’t have vacation time to take off.” He shook his head and stole another fry.

“Well…” Anna seemed suddenly shy. “You could… maybe… quit. Move back home. Get a new job.” She raised her eyes slowly to his as she picked up steam. “I have a spare room that is yours until you are back on your feet. Then we could all be close again. Oh, you know Inias is back in town. I know you haven’t seen him in so long, but he asked about you. Almost as soon as he got back, actually.” Her smile was so genuine, so enthusiastic, Castiel almost hated to stop her.

“Anna, I left home for a reason. I didn’t feel comfortable in that town. And Inias may have been my first kiss, but he was far from anything more.” Castiel shook his head.

“And this town is any better? Castiel, you have been miserable almost from the moment you moved here.” Anna was getting upset, her voice almost a hiss.

“That’s not true. I was happy in the beginning. And, now, I am finding things to be happy about again. I am making friends again.”

“Oh, like Dean? Cassie, you went from an abusive relationship straight to living with another man. Do you really think that’s healthy?” She sighed and moved to put her hand on his shoulder, but the sudden movement caused Castiel to jerk back, not realizing that he had already slowly slid to the edge of the bench. He was on the ground before he could even register what had happened, his breathing starting to speed up.

“Hey, Cas, buddy, you ok?” Dean knelt down beside him, at the healthy distance, his voice low and almost casual as he asked.

“Y-Yes. Yeah.” Castiel nodded and rushed to stand up. The movement along with his too short breathes made him dizzy. He threw out his arms, one hitting the edge of the bench’s high back, the other catching on Dean’s bicep.

“Ok, no you’re not.” Carefully, Dean put his own hand on the arm Castiel had extended out to him. With just the slightest pressure he tugged Castiel to turn and look at him. “Deep breath.” He reached out and took Castiel’s other arm, laying it gently on his chest so he could feel the rise and fall of Dean’s own breaths. “Slow. In. Out. There you are.” Castiel gave Dean a weak smile.

“Thank you.”

“’Course.” Dean nodded and let his hands fall from Castiel’s which were a little slower to move. “You good? What happened?” Dean shot a look at Anna and Castiel wondered if the other man had been watching the whole thing.

“We were having a private conversation.” She said with a hint of rudeness.

“That’s all well and good. But you make him upset again and we are leaving.” Dean’s voice was still conversational, calm, but Castiel could see the small twitch in his jaw that said the mechanic did not like how his friend was being treated.

“Who do you think you are saying who my brother can and can’t talk to.” Anna slid from the bench to stand in front of Dean. Her much smaller frame bowing up to look like the intimidating big sister she tried so hard to be.

“Didn’t say Cas couldn’t talk to you, but you keep on like you are and he may not want to himself.” Dean shot back, his voice finally starting to hint at his agitation. Glancing at Castiel he seemed to realize how he sounded, almost like Balthazar. “Shit.” Dean whispered.

“I’m ok, Dean.” Castiel tried to sound reassuring but he was still a little shaky from the aborted episode. “Really.”

“I am right over there.” He jerked a thumb at the bar before turning the statement at Anna. “Right there.” She smirked and crossed her arms over her chest. Slowly Dean made his way back to his bar stool, speaking to Ellen as soon as he was seated. Castiel turned back to Anna and raised his eyebrows at her. They slid back into the booth.

“He’s mighty protective.” Gabriel noted.

“He helped me through a bad time. He’s become a really good friend.” Castiel picked up another fry but didn’t move to eat it.

“It looks like he’s making sure you’re dependent on him. He calm you down every time?”

“Jesus, Anna.” Gabe hissed, frowning.

“What are you getting at Anna?” Castiel sighed.

“I am just worried you might be rushing into something with Dean. You barely know him, you moved in with him at a very vulnerable time, and I just think that with everything that has happened you are not exactly thinking this through.” Anna turned pleading eyes on her brother. “I just worry about you. I don’t want to see you get hurt again.”

Castiel slowly nodded. “Your concern is touching, it’s good knowing that after everything that has happened you are so easy to forgive me and welcome me in with open arms.” He slid out of the booth to stand. “But I am an adult, able to make my own decisions. And yes, I made a real shitty choice with Balt. I was new here, he was nice, I thought it was love. I’ve learned from my mistakes. I also know Dean a lot better after six months than I did with Balt after three years. And it doesn’t even matter because we are just friends.” Castiel took a deep breath. “How long will you be in town?” 

“A few days. We wanted to see for ourselves how you were doing, but we do have to get back to our jobs on Monday.” Gabriel offered as he stood.

“Then I would like to see you tomorrow. But if you will excuse me, I am extremely worn out from this morning and hungry.”

“Of course, yeah.” Gabriel nodded and slowly opened his arms waiting for Castiel to step forward for a hug. “We love you, kiddo. She’s just worried.” He whispered the words for Castiel who nodded into his older brother’s shoulder.

“Call us if you need anything.” Anna murmured as she stood as well. Castiel yanked her into a tight a hug before turning to see Dean standing at the bar with a brown paper bag in hand. He nodded and the other man approached finally, letting Castiel lead the way out to the car.

“You good?” Dean asked once they had buckled into the car.

“Yes. Anna is just worried about me. She said something I didn’t really like and then tried to… I don’t know, touch me I guess. I overreacted.”

“It’s ok. You’re kind of on edge today.” Dean offered. “They have good reason to be worried, Cas.”

“What?” Castiel frowned as he looked at Dean.

“You just came out of a shit relationship. I know when Sam was dating Ruby, even when I tried everything I could to get him away from her, when things got worse I couldn’t help but blame myself. What else could I have done to keep my brother from hurting? Why didn’t I stop it before he got too attached and couldn’t pull back? Where had I failed that he turned to her in the first place?”

“Dean, it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t Gabriel or Anna’s fault. I thought I was in love with Balt and nothing was going to change that opinion until it was too late. I am sure Sam would say the same.” He let out a sigh. “Besides, you can’t protect people from every mistake. How will we learn?”

“It just sucks to see someone you care about learn the hard way.” 

“I suppose it is, yes.” They remained quiet until they got home. They had just stepped into the apartment when Dean’s phone began to ring. Slowly he pulled it from his pocket and looked down at the screen. 

“It’s Sam.” He looked up at Castiel who nodded as he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth.

“Answer it.

Dean fumbled with the phone for a moment. “Hey Sammy. You’re on speaker.”

“So Cas is there?”

“Yes, Sam.” Castiel took a half step closer as Dean leaned down for a second to place the bag of food on the coffee table.

“Guilty.” The single word punched the breath from Castiel’s lungs in a relieved outtake. Dean reached out with his now free hand, holding it hovering next to Castiel’s bicep. “Judge is making him pay for all the medical bills from that last hospital stay. And sentenced him to ten years jail time.”

“Oh.” The word was breathed out, although Castiel couldn’t be sure if it was from him on top of a sob or from Dean as the air was pushed out of him from the force of Castiel hugging him.

“Thanks Sam.”

“Of course Dean. Look, I know you are going to want to chill today, all the stress from the trial. But Amelia wants you both at the house tomorrow night for dinner, ok?”

“Yeah, that sounds good, Sammy. Maybe we can bring Cas's brother and sister along, too. Get to know them better and give Cas a chance to see them.” Dean still held tight to the man pressed against him, Castiel’s sobs muffled into the shoulder of the suit his brother had made him wear while at the court house. “We’ll talk to you later, ok?”

“Sure, sounds good. Congratulations, Cas.”

“Thank you, Sam.” Castiel barely managed to keep his voice steady enough to say the three words before burying his face against Dean once more. Dean hung up the phone before anything else could be said or heard.

“Hey, come here.” Dean shuffled to the couch, not letting go of Castiel, and they fell onto the cushions awkwardly before straightening themselves with Dean sitting against the arm and Castiel leaning against his side.

“He’s going to jail. For ten years!” Castiel jumped up from his spot on the couch to make a circle around the room, hands swiping at his tears. “Ten years. I can change my whole world in ten years. I can completely get myself together in ten years.” He collapsed back into his spot, this time facing forward but his arm and thigh still pressed against Dean. “I will be free of him for a whole decade.” He turned a bright smile to Dean.

“Hell yeah, Cas. I mean, you’ve already begun picking up the pieces. In ten years there’ll be no way he could hurt you again.”

“I really hope your right, Dean.” Castiel sighed.

“I am. So what’s the plan?” Dean moved to the edge of the couch so that he could reach the bag of food for his friend.

“Plan?” Castiel frowned at the ceiling. “Anna asked me to move in with her back in Illinois.” He stated it so casually, in complete opposites with the way his stomach roiled and his heart clenched at the thought of moving so far away from the life he had, away from Dean. The living room went suddenly quiet and Castiel turned to see Dean had set out the meal he had ordered for Castiel, but now he remained very still, hands hovering just to the side of the food.

“Is that what you want? Are you thinking of taking her up on the offer?”

“That’s the last thing I want. Besides the fact that most of my town treated me horribly when I came out, the one guy I kissed who was still firmly in the closet is back to living there, and it would just feel like a giant step backyard.” Castiel paused, pulling his lip between his teeth and slowly tugging it loose again. “Plus, I would be leaving too much behind if I left here.”

“Charlie would definitely start demanding Saturday’s off without you there to distract her. Meg would no longer have a friend since most people can’t handle her attitude. Amelia would be lost without someone to talk flowers and bees with.” Dean spoke with his back to Castiel.

“I don’t know if I could give up such wonderful friends after finally gaining them.” Castiel watched Dean’s shoulders, the slow rise and fall as the other man breathed, the tense lines as he held himself together. “And there’s you.” He saw the almost full body twitch before Dean tilted his head slightly down and back, probably seeing Castiel out of the corner of his eye. “You have been such an amazing friend, have done so much for me, how could I leave all that behind? How could I move when I have finally found a safe place here?” His voice was low, afraid he might say something wrong.

“So stay.” Dean whispered. Finally he turned to face Castiel, slowly reaching to take the man’s hand. “Stay here. Stay with me.”

“You don’t want your spare bedroom back? Your space?” Castiel was starting to feel that dangerous curl of hope as Dean shook his head no. “You’re not tired of having to deal with me and my issues?”

“Cas, from the minute I met you I was drawn to you. I am sure we can pass it off as I was meant to help you get away from Balt, but part of me likes to hope that it was because of something more.”

“More? Dean, what if I can’t handle more right now?”

“Than I will settle for this.” He squeezed Castiel’s hand for a beat. “I’d rather have you as a friend, issues or not, than lose whatever this is by pushing too hard. So what we have right now, it’s awesome.” Castiel nodded and Dean let him remain silent for a while. 

“Maybe we could just take things slow?” Castiel looked up in time to see Dean’s face practically split with a grin. 

“As slow as you need.” Dean confirmed. He moved back to his original position in the crook of the couch and Castiel decided to curl into his side. “You need to eat.”

“No, right now I just need to enjoy this.” He reached for the remote and turned on the tv, letting out a soft sigh at the feel of gentle fingers running lines up and down his arm. “Thank you, Dean.”

“Stop thanking me, Cas.” Dean mumbled and Castiel realized the other man had his lips pressed to his hair. “Besides, I should be thanking you for giving me a chance.” Castiel felt the kiss Dean pressed against his temple and he thought his heart would burst. “Or better yet, we should thank Charlie for being so nosy and conniving.” Castiel let out a small chuckle.

“I’ll bake her a cake on Monday.”

“She already loves you, Cas, no need to go spoiling her.”

“Charlie is the reason I am sitting on this couch, safe in your arms, a cake is well within reason.” This time it was Dean who laughed.

“Ok. Yeah. I’ll help.” Dean shifted and pulled Castiel to him just a little tighter.

It wasn’t perfect and it wasn’t easy. Dean would have to continue to keep his temper in check around Castiel for whom a raised word could mean a downward spiral. Castiel still had a long way to go with recovering his trust not only in others but in himself. A small difference in opinions could mean no talking to each other for days. It would be a balancing act with Dean who craved physical interaction even as simple as a squeeze of the hand as they parted ways in the morning and Castiel who had bad days where touch caused panic attacks. They didn’t share their first kiss for another two weeks.

But there were moments, which slowly grew to whole chunks of time, that everything was right, everything was hopeful. Because Dean had already been learning how to be around Castiel, carefully mindful as a friend and now dedicated to the cause as a boyfriend. And Castiel had been relearning to be himself and he finally had someone interested in the person he was. They had quiet nights tucked on the couch and whispered conversations where they fell asleep holding one another in Dean’s bed, fully clothed. They found ‘their spot’ and discovered ‘their song’ and laughed at ‘their jokes’. And when, a few months later, Castiel was finally ready to be intimate with someone again and Dean asked for Castiel to top because he needed to feel the other man in him, of course there had been a couple tears, to which Dean would never admit, but they had been ones of pure happiness, as cheesy as it was.

It was complicated, and messy, and wonderful, and a work in progress. Because they both had pasts and their demons still lurked. But they had each other to help with the fight, to be there for support and comfort. They had an understanding some other couples didn’t, and they both felt it gave them somewhere solid to stand. And when they both grew brave enough to say the words, whispering ‘I love you’s into each other’s skin late into the night, it may have been a year later, but that just made them more sure of the feelings. More sure of themselves. More sure of _them._


End file.
